Wednesday, December 29, 2010

3rd fill!

Hope everyone is doing well and surviving the last week of the year!

Christmas went well.  Spent as little time as possible with in-laws.  We were due snow, I asked DH to ask MIL to move dinner to lunch so we could get in and out of town before.  I didn't eat breakfast, got there and she had decided to not move dinner, just make a cheeseball and let us eat candy.  Cheeseball, crackers, and candy.  Now, mind you - all good stuff.  Not a meal.  Just the kind of thing I am trying to avoid.  So...good times.

Otherwise, it was great.  DH spoiled me more than I deserved and it was great spending time with my nieces and nephew.  DH and I also had most of Christmas afternoon and night to ourselves, so we watched all 3 Toy Story movies, marathon style.  Perfect way to spend the day!!

I am feeling better, mostly.  I am on day 9 of 10 of antibiotics.  I am still waking with post nasal drip.  I'm a little over that, but otherwise, I feel better overall.

I went in for my 3rd fill today.  I'm up to 4.5cc in the band.  I weighed in there, with clothes on, obviously, at 257.  They think that's great.  I don't think so much. I think the weight they had for me for the last time either wasn't recorded or it was me with my coat on or something.  They had me at 264.  Maybe that is what I was at Thanksgiving....I have to go back and check it out.  Anyway, I met with the nutritionist.  Do you all have access to a nutritionist whenever you go for fills?  Anyway, this one is the one I have liked from day one - she is kind and supportive and actually has realistic suggestions.  The other one once told me I should just bring my own frozen meal or whatever into the lunch meetings at work.  Where I'm trying to stay on the down-low on what I did.  sure.  Everyone else is eating pizza or Panera.  And the fat girl brings in a WW meal or a turkey sandwich of her own.  Very inconspicuous.  and very doable.  That would make me feel great. I met with the good one and am getting refocused on the basics.  60-70g of protein and 64-80oz of H20.  Veggies and fruits as part of my snacks and meals, in a small way.  Up exercise to 4 x per week.  4 basics to get back to.  Also, I am getting back to planning our meals out.  We have gotten lazy and really the holidays are hard.  There is always some meal, some something to go to with food.  I rarely needed to cook.  We had leftovers from outings and leftovers from meals at work and so on and so forth.  So back to meal planning.  Back to bringing good solid lunches to work.  Back to making good breakfast choices.

It's the New Year.  I always have high hopes for the new year.  However, this year, it's different.  Last year, I thought that I could do this by myself.  This year, I have a buddy - my band.  I need a name for it.  This year, I know I have the tools to make good choices.  This year, I want to start trying to have kids.  I want to get down below 200 so that I feel healthy enough to be pregnant and actually get pregnant.  2011 holds a lot of promise.

I stopped on the way to work from my fill at Trader Joe's to get a protein drink, as I didn't plan well and leave with one this morning.  I picked up the Protein with Pizazz ready-to-drink  drink out of the fridge case.  Tasty.  I recommend it for a quick grab in a desperate moment.  a little chalky, but good banana and apple flavor to it.  almost 2 servings in a bottle (really?  Just put .8 more oz in the bottle, people) and 16g of protein.

Until later...

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Sinus Infection. Blah.

Hey all!!

I've been fighting congestion basically since Thanksgiving.  Finally got a little worse over the weekend and went to the Dr yesterday.  Sinus infection.  So, on drugs and feeling a little better already.

But struggling with eating or drinking enough.  Just feel blah.  How do you all do when you are sick? 

Oh and not helpful to have snacks and cookies around right now.  I stayed home.  I may or may not have snacked a little today too.  However, not much, in the whole scheme of things.  One cookie and 2 handfuls of chex mix. 

I just want to feel better before the weekend.

Tomorrow we are taking my nieces to see The Nutcracker.  Can't wait!!  They are so excited.  And a granddaughter of my parents' best friends is one of the children in it.  So...even more exciting!

MIL guilted DH into going to her house for Christmas Eve.  Boo.  I just think it's a bad idea.  But, he wants to make her happy - don't we all just want our parents happy?  Anyway, I have been secretly praying for the snow we are supposed to get - and now might not get.  I need it.  Just long enough for us to not go, but then to stop so everyone else can do what they need to for the holidays.  : )  DH passed his journeyman's test this week.  We both posted it on FB separately.  All kinds of people congratulated him on mine.  A handful on his.  None of his family.  Not even his sister or nieces.  Drives me crazy.  Completely crazy. 

*oohhmmm*  *channeling some peace*

Gifts are all bought and wrapped.  Cards did not get sent out, but I think I am going to send them after Christmas.  I don't know.  Haven't decided.  Everything baked.  Ready to enjoy the holidays.  Working on some plans for NYE.  So things are good.

I'm getting a fill next week.  I'm able to eat a decent amount beyond a cup at any one sitting.  Not starving between meals, but still not feeling restricted at all.  DH went today for his - he is barely drinking.  I think he might have over done it...but we'll see and I'll let him decide.  :)  You all know how that works.  Love him.  Stubborn and all.

OK...should be able to jump back on for a bit in the next few days, but in case you all aren't around, have the Merriest of Christmases, if that's what you celebrate.  If not, have a peaceful weekend!!

Until later

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Snow, days off, Inlaws

Hey all!

Gosh it's crazy how the holiday season just kinda takes over.  I have today and tomorrow off.  I needed them.

I work in HR and about this time of year, I get really tired of people.  We are a good company, we offer some pretty fantastic benefits, we do a lot of nice things for our employees.  This year for holiday luncheons we stayed onsite (easiest to do with a new shift set-up and 450 employees) and catered in a nice meal from a local famous ribs place.  Ribs, chicken, salad and these chips they are known for - along with ice cream sandwiches from a local famous ice cream place.

I can't tell you how many "can I order something different"s I got.  When I was standing with the free pop - choices were coke, diet c, sprite and diet mt dew, I got no less than 5 "do you have xyz pop?"  Really people?  Free meal.  Good meal.  Free drink.  Oh, you're welcome.

BTW, out of 450 employees, I only had to say you're welcome 5 times.  No other thank yous.


And a bunch of other "give me mores" that happened this week.  So, I'm done with being a people person for a few days.

We got about 5 inches of snow last night.  I'm glad to not have to go out in it until later.  I'm getting my nails done - trying this new Shellac treatment - supposedly stays crack and chip free for 2 weeks.  We'll see!!

I'm also doing my annual baking.  I give away cookies plus host an annual cookie exchange.  The good thing is that mostly, I stay away from eating most of it.  I just like making and giving.

And I've had ongoing in-law drama.  I grew up watching my parents friends struggle with daughter and son in laws and always thought, "not me...I'm going to be a great daughter in law".  I'm sad that it isn't turning out that way.  Without a ton of details, DHs family is just so different in terms of respect and appreciation and tolerance for one another.  It is nothing for the aunts (MIL is one of 6 sisters) to bash my DH or talk negatively about him.  DH has not always been a great person.  He is big - has been all of his life.  I'm pretty sure that when he feels attacked or uncomfortable, he goes back to the 10 yo being bullied on the playground and does the only thing he knows how - fights.  Not so much physcially now, but emotionally and verbally.  Anyway, I expect the aunts to be the bigger people and not pick at DH, but they do.  And so does MIL on some level, I am finally seeing.  But...the story everyone always tells is how mean DH is.  No one mentions or remembers that they picked at him first or were mean too....  Anyway - it just wears me out.  I haven't gotten a therapist, like I wanted to after the surgery.  Now I really think I need to.  I just get so upset for DH and for how horrible his whole family situation is.  I need to figure out how to better cope with them.  Luckily, DH decided we aren't going to MILs on Christmas Eve.  So this weekend we'll make a brief visit to the extended family gathering, see his niece and sister and then move on to more fun events.


I just needed to get it all out.  Not much about food or band or that stuff.  Sorry.  But it feels good to just get it out there.

I'm going to weigh in in a bit on my home scale for my weekly.

Until later....

Thursday, December 9, 2010

3 lbs down!

I must have had a scale that wasn't quite awake this morning.  My official weigh in had me down 3 lbs to 255.2.  I'm good with that.  Would have loved the other.  But, it's all good.  Still moving in the right direction.

I hope you are all having a good Thursday!!!  Here comes the weekend.

A Giveaway and Freaking Out

ok - first things first.

Over at The World According to Eggface, she is giving away 4 bottles of yummy holiday flavored Torani Syrups.  I am finding that adding SF syrups to my protein shakes TOTALLY makes them managable.  And it allows me to have some good flavors without 1000 kinds of protein powder.  I'm so excited too because it includes the new SF Salted Caramel syrup.  Hello???  yummo!!  I love me so salted caramel hot chocolate - so this would let me have the great flavor - without the cost or the calories. over there and enter to win because it would be almost as fun if one of you won!!!  : )

Now, for the freaking out segment.

I got on the home scale this morning.  247.8.

I am trying desperately to keep peeing and getting the weight to stay just like that until 12:30 when I have my official weigh in at work.  eek.  As part of the weightw@tchers thing - this would put me past 10%.  Heck, in regular life,t his would give me more than 10% lost.  I really want to see it today because i don't have another meeting until January - because they are at work meetings.

Eeeek.  Think light thoughts for me today.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Blogger Picture error and Christmas

Seriously.  turn your head to the left so you can look at my tree.  It is saved on my hard drive correctly.  It is up and down and normal.  When it comes over here, not so much.  and I've worked on it.  And it didn't help., I don't hang my tree on the wall.  I just gave up the frustration.

But I love our tree this year.

and these are our holiday plates/china.  I love that they are wintery enough that I don't have to put them away as soon as Christmas is over.  I usually keep them out until about Valentine's Day.  They are discontinued.  One day, I'd like to have more glasses that go with them.  Right now I only have 2.

Decorating makes me happy once it's done, but gosh is it a pain to get done!!

Have a great week everyone!!

Sunday, December 5, 2010

What in the world??? And holiday spirit....

I just did my Sunday morning weigh in for the Holiday Challenge.



Everyone look at me.  I'm in the 240s.  And look quick...I'm about to be seeing TOM so I'm not sure it will last that long.  I certainly hope so though!!  I mean, hello motivation!!!  Since my official weigh in day is Thursday, I'm not moving the ticker yet...but I'm liking this twice a week weigh in to see how I move from days to days.

I'm going to get out some of my older WeightW@tchers stuff later and see if I can figure out when I last saw the 240s.

Speaking of the W meantioned above, did you hear they have a new program?  I learned all about it this week.  Guess what???  They finally did what I had been most struggling with them about since I joined up right before my surgery.  They added in counting protein to the program!  They now take protein, fiber, carbs and fat into account to figure their point system.  It makes me so happy to finally have them coinside with what I needed to be counting anyway.  I am finding this week that I am actually using their system instead of half assing my way with theirs.  And as we knowing, tracking only helps.  So....we'll see.  I think I enjoy my work group rather than the WLS support group that only meets monthly and doesn't really get past any of the basics.  I'm finding between other blogs...and at work meetings...and my DH that I am having a good amount of support.

Speaking of good fun is it that I finally discovered a fellow bandster blogster in my general area??  Weeeee!!  Fun to know someone in town.  I love the blogging community!!

Let's see, what else.  We got a bit of snbow yesterday - perfet kind of snow.  The ground was still warm, so it didn't stick much to the driveways and sidewalks, so no shovelling, but accumulated on the ground, so pretty to look at.  And on a Saturday where there wasn't much need to go places.  DH and I got our tree last night - in the snow from a little lot I had heard about.  Such beautiful tree - felt like a little scene in a movie.  Like the tree getting scene in When Harry Met Sally?  Although we don't live in the big city, so we promptly tied it to the top of my car and drove it home rather than walking it home.  We put lights on last night...and the ornaments will come after church today.  Then the rest of the decorating happens.  I am going to get my Christmas plates out and replace our everyday plates with them for the season, so we can have a little more holiday spirit.  We haven't used them the last 2 years.  2 years ago, we had just gotten married and I had just replaced old plates with our wedding gift plates.  And last year I just didn't feel the spirit.  This year...I'm doing it.

Do you all have Christmas plates?  What kinds of things do you look forward to bringing out?  Linda from Linda's Bandwith challenged everyone to post pictures of the things making people feel the spirit, so I look forward to posting pictures later here for me and seeing everyone else's!!

Talk to you all later!!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Hi from the 250s!!

Those of you who have been around a while know I have been waiting for this, for forever.  I officially weighed in at 258.6 today.  Hello from 250s!!

I have been hovering around there for a few days, so I am feeling like this one is going to stick for a while!!

More later...just sharing my excitement!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Great Online Sale - Tuesday Only!

Hi all!

Just came across a great sale to share with you all.  No-Nonsense is having a great sale online today (extending cyberMonday).  50% off everything and free shipping.  There isn't a ton of plus sized stuff....but there is some XL stuff.  I didn't look at hose and tights...not sure what the size situation is there.  But PJs, scarfs, undies, socks....all sorts of stuff that we all hate to pay a lot for, but that we might go through fairly fast these days as we change sizes.

Or if you are doing shopping for others you might find some deals.

Here's the link

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Thanksgiving loss???

This is something new for me.  It appears that I might have lost  weight over the Thanksgiving weekend.  I weighed in for the challenge this morning at 256.8.  I have been hanging on in the 257ish range for the last 36 hours or 250s might finally be here.

I love my band!

I really didn't overdo it much.  I had 1/2 of a slice of 2 different pies.  I had spoonfuls of green bean casserole and mashed potatoes and brussel sprouts.  I had like an ounce or 2 of turkey and a roll that my husband couldn't eat because he was getting stuck.  He is really officially done with bread.  considering my past years of Thanksgiving, I think what I ate wasn't too bad.  I am now dealing with leftovers.  Turkey and ham....lots of it.  I have to figure out what I am going to make with it all.  I think I'm going to do a ham and cheese and broccoli quiche - protein and veg.  I made some little ham and swiss sammies.  Tonight we are mixing things up and having sloppy joes made with ground turkey that DH just bought before he made me a ham and cheese omelet this morning.  My cranberry and cherry sauce was yummy and I've been snacking on a spoonful at a time of that when I need a little something sweet.

I have really just sat around for the last 2 days.  MIL left on Friday at noon and I just have been taking in some peace and quiet.  I like having her around.  I like having a little peace too.  So, it's been good.  Today, we hope to finish putting away our lawn furniture and such for the winter.  I also plan on going for a walk.  I think I am even going to start again with C25K and see if I can at least start moving through it.  I don't mind if I even have to do each week twice....  I just need a goal.

Enough rambling.

Have a wonderful end to your weekends!!

Until later....

Thursday, November 25, 2010


Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who is celebrating!  I hope you all have wonderful, fun-filled days full of good decisions and knowing what is best to chose to eat and not getting stuck.

DH and I went yesterday for fills.  I'm up to 4ccs and he is up to 7.  He is feeling a ton of restriction.  I'm not so much yet - but I'm still on liquids.  I've actually been really hungry since then, but am trying to stick to liquids until dinner tonight when I'll have mostly mushies and a taste of turkey.  I hope he finds more comfort in drinking liquids over the course of the day - or else it's going to be a long day/weekend!!

I am thankful for so many things.  Getting healthier, having a warm home and so much food that it's ridiculous, having a wonderful husband and a great family - and even for being able to have both my family and my in-laws for Thanksgiving at the same time.

May you also know all the ways in which you are blessed today as well!!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Something's got to give.

I'm back up .8.  Seriously.

Tired of it.

Hoping for the fill to work a miracle.  Also, going to work even harder on eating the right things for the next 6 days leading up to the fill.  Just looking for a little 250s love.  Good news - I have a whole history from my weigh in book to show them at the doctor.  They didn't officially weigh me the day of my first fill - just took my word for the weight. So I have proof that I've been in the same 3 pounds since one week after surgery.

I'm feeling inspiration by reading what everyone typically eats.  I even decided to set up "appointments" in outlook calendar at work to remind me to go for a walk and get some steps - and drink some water.  Hoping that helps a little with that side of things.

You are all so sweet with your comments.  LOL at my boobs getting smaller - DH has already noticed that.  I'm ready for that, truth be told.  I did wear a pair of jeans today that have always been a little big, but now really are falling down.  Time to focus on other pairs.  I'm kinda in between with other clothes though, having not lost enough to move out of them.  So, we'll keep hanging on.

Thanksgiving dinner count - up to 18 people.  Not sure where everyone will sit.

You are all wonderful.  Thanks again for the encouragement and comments on the pictures!  I'm so lucky.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

2 months post-op

So, I thought I'd share a some before and now pictures for my 2 month bandiversary, which was yesterday.  Better late than never.  I actually had my DH home tonight to try and take pics in the same place we took them the night before the surgery.  In some ways I can see differences and in some I can't.  I will preface with the fact that clearly we were dealing with the night before surgery and I had worked long hours leading up to that as I didn't know how long I'd be out.  They are true "before" pics!  Also, I have had a good haircut and color with a shade lighter since then.  I notice it as a huge difference but can now see why most people just know "something is different" but aren't quite sure.  I think the darker, new color might be the one to stick with when I am not tan.

Ok...enough pointing out the flaws.

I'm clearly happier.  : )  However, I can also tell the shirt is looser.  When I put on my shorts tonight, I could also feel a difference.

Not quite as pregnant.  Not quite as pulling, although I think I have a different bra on.  : )

Here is where I see the most difference.  First with the hair.  Then also with my cheeks a little.  We'll see.  I know as I lose, it will be more dramatic.

Tomorrow is weigh in day.  I have walked 4 times.  I have been trying with the water.  Today I had a huge NSV.  We have quarterly meetings that I have to attend.  The person running them always orders from a great pizza place.  This morning I asked him to get me a salad, as they also have great salads.  I had a salad and just 1 piece of pizza.  Huge difference from months ago when I'd be going for 4 -5 pieces over the course of the meeting.  This morning's peak had me below 260, we'll see if it holds out.  I am going to down a ton of water before I go to bed in about 2 hours so hopefully by morning I am flushing the rest of the salt from the pizza out of the system.

MIL comes next week for Thanksgiving.  She and I get along.  I don't always agree with her ways.  I don't believe she takes care of herself.  But...for the most part, it's fine.  She is bringing so much flippin' food to make for Thanksgiving.  Here is the problem.  I am hosting both DH's mother and sister and nieces, but also my parents, sister and BIL and nieces and nephew.  14 people total.  Both sides have their own traditional foods - so we'll be making basically 2 dinners worth of food.  For all of these people.  I love love love cooking.  I'm not sure how I'm going to do a ham and a turkey and all of the other stuff in my kitchen though.  Eeek...good planning, good planning.

: )

And I'm having a fill the day before Thanksgiving, so hopefully that helps with the whole control piece.

How are you all anticipating Thanksgiving and handling it?

Saturday, November 13, 2010


My daily peek on the scale this morning showed 257.something.

*knocking on wood* hope it stays!!

Already went for a walk this morning - and now some intense house cleaning!!

It's beautiful here - supposed to get up to 72.  I have the windows open and am enjoying what willmost likely be my last taste of warmer weather for a few months!

Have great Saturdays, everyone!!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Update - and incredible protein shake!!

Thank you again for the encouragement.  It's really just amazing - as you all know!

- I called the dr office.  I have a fill scheduled the day before Thanksgiving.  I will take myself off of mushies about 30 hours later.  But, will probably eat a saucer full of food.

- Really, turkey is about the only non-mushy we will have, I think, that I care about.

- I saw 259 on my scale this morning.  Shhh - don't tell anyone.  I don't want to jinx it.

- In my attempt to plan meals, I have decided to alternate breakfast between a protein shake and oatmeal with some protein powder added.  This morning I made this shake - apple pie protein shake!!!  Soooo good.  Definitely a good fall flavor!  I am using the splurge Starbux Cinnamon Dolce SF syrup I bought and have been hoarding.  Tasty!!

- Happy Friday all!!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Weigh in...and support.

Thank you to those who have commented so far on my morning post.  I am going to call shortly and see if I can get in for the week of the 29th.  That will be almost 5 weeks out.  I am guessing they might not do one Thanksgiving Week because they are pretty particular about wanting to be open after you get your fill so you don't end up in an ER with people who don't know what they are doing.  And they only do fills on Tues and Wed for that reason.  We'll see!!

I weighed in.  I ate some chili before I weighed in, even.  My boss was eating, my other eating partners were in a different meeting.  So I decided to just do it.  I don't think in 25 years of dieting that I have eaten right before a weigh in.  :)  Anyways....I was down 1.2!  Glad to see 260.2 - my lowest yet.  However, I am freaking tired of the 260s.  Sooo soo ready for the next decade.

I put together my meal plan for the next week while in my weight w@tchers meeting.  So, now to just follow along and do this. 

One day and one week at a time.

until later!

My next fill? it's been a little over 2 weeks since my first fill.  I'm not feeling tons of restriction - at least not anything more than I felt when I had just had my surgery.  My weight loss is holding steady - not lost more than I had since the surgery.

At what point do I just call and get another fill?

Next Tuesday will be 2 months banded.  I think I set myself up to think that this whole process would be moving along faster.  I read other blogs and think - they are losing and doing this.  I see the post from Amy yesterday and think, yup, I'm going to be one of the ones this isn't going to work for.  I look at WHAT I am eating and think - the amount is certainly less, but the quality is certainly not 100% there.  I am walking - which I never did before.  But I'm not walking everyday or even every other day.  Somewhere around 2 -3 times a week.  I am not drinking enough water.

I need to kick it into gear.  I have had this great opportunity handed to me to get it together and do what needs to happen.  I read and saw and knew it wasn't the magic pill - but somehow hoped for a little longer honeymoon period.

I weigh in later at work.  I know - looking at my home scale - that I'm not down.  I might be able to flush a little more out, but doubtful in 3 hours.

Until my next weigh in next week, I'd like to focus on 3 things:

Walk at least 4 times between now and then.
Drink 80 oz of water a day.
Plan meals with good choices.

You've gotta have a plan, right??  Any butt kicking and accountability is welcome.  :)

I hope you are all doing well.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Holiday Challenge!

So today starts the Challenge!  I'm so excited.  I definitely need this little push to get me going.  I think I'm just still in a little bandster hell - not feeling much restriction, although definitely eating less than I did onceuponaTIMEBEFORETHEband.  :)  I am hoping to up the exercise a little too.

Speaking of which - so last night DH and I had our anniversary celebration, staying at a local nice hotel, dinner, and a horse drawn carriage ride.  We went and checked in and then both went to the workout room.  I did the first day of Couch to 5k.  I actually ran!  For a minute!  With a minute and a half between each bit of running!  8 cycles!!  31 minutes of this!!  So excited.  The last time I tried this, I couldn't do one time.  Mostly because (I think) I could barely walk and even just the 20 pounds or so I've lost since the beginning have made the difference!  Anyway - good times!!  The rest of the night was wonderful   Just good to spend time with DH and relax and be away and do fun things together.  I didn't do too bad with food.  One Cosmo, 5oz fillet with a little blue cheese on it.  You know - up the protein.  Salad, with dressing on the side.  half of the side of mashed potatoes.  And dessert.  But overall, not bad for a good night out.

Back to the challenge!  I weighed in heavy today - 263.8.  Not sure how I feel about that - although I'm glad it's at the beginning.  I think I'm getting ready for a period - so I am anticipating a quick loss there.  We'll see. At very least, though, I am hoping to get back on track with basics.  No pop. More good protein.  More Water.  More exercise.

Can you believe it's November???


Friday, November 5, 2010

Challenges and The Challenge

I know - I've been missing from these parts.  Work has been crazy - life is a little crazy.  And well, this whole band thing has me challenged.

Good news about general stuff - tomorrow night DH and I are going to a hotel downtown to stay and celebrate our 2nd anniversary.  I am looking forward to just spending some time with him away from our house and things.  It will be nice to have a good dinner and I think I'm going to surprise him with a carriage ride afterward.  Then to stay in a place I didn't have to clean before or after we are there.  I love that part of hotels.  Monday night we have tickets for the football game.  This will be my first regular season game - so, I'm excited to go!  I guess I just gave away where I live to anyone who is a football fan....  ahh well.

DH also was offered a job this week.  He was laid off about a year and a half ago, but has been going to school.  I was fine with the lay off as long as he was going to school.  We did unemployment for a while and then he started doing some teaching work for his professor.  But I know he feels better about now getting to do some of the things he's been learning about on a regular basis.  I'm proud of him.  But, I know that things will get a little crazy around here and that I will be seeing less of him for a while, until school is over.

So, in band news - I gained this week.  Only .6, but if you have been around here much, I've been going up and down for about a month now.  I know I am not doing my best.  I am eating less than I ever have.  I went to breakfast with my mom and sister and niece and nephew this morning and had only 1/2 of my omelet and 1/2 of the hash browns and 2 pieces of toast.  Once upon a time, I wouldn't have left anything.  However, I kinda feel like that's more than I should have had.  I also know I'm not drinking enough water.  I am trying...but especially on my days away from work, I'm struggling with getting even a decent amount in.  I just need to get more aware - and really start carrying some with me everywhere I go.  I have been walking more.  I am trying to keep up with everyone at work and their progress.  Have I mentioned before that the woman who is leading us all has been AVERAGING over 30k steps a day!  A DAY!!!

It is not me in the lead.

In fact, I barely do 1/6 of her work in one day, unless I am really getting after it.

But some days I do great. - needs to get healthier and more protein filled.  Water needs to be consumed more.  Exercise needs to be up-ed.

I am also going to go ahead and get the fill scheduled for the week after Thanksgiving.  Plenty of time to adjust to a fill into the holidays.  And that will be 6 weeks after my last one.

So, I also joined in the challenge that Kristen is hosting.  Today is the last day to get in, if you want to be in!!  It's a great chance to motivate and win some moolah - both things that are completely bonuses!!  Plus, I am finding new people to follow.  I need a job where all day long I read blogs.  Just saying.

Speaking of blogs - I'm going to let you all in on a little secret here in my world.  I follow blogs that focus on - and have developed a pastime for - finding good deals, mostly at grocery stores.  For instance, today, I got some free lactose free milk (for DH) and free turkey bacon - 4 packages.  So excited.  Yesterday - cheap weight w@tchers frozen meals.  cheap enough that I don't care if I don't eat the whole package.  That makes me happy.

Now, I'm off to make some homemade applesauce - chunky kind - to use up some of the apples I've been a buying.

I hope you all are doing well!!!

until later!

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Down 2.2!!

Woo hoo!!  I am finally down below my little gain from 3 weeks ago and hanging on barely to the 260s.  Honestly, I'm ready to kiss the 260s goodbye.  So, 250s - come out come out wherever you are!!!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

first fill!! I survived the first fill!  We had to be at the hospital at 10, you know so you could wait until they really call you back at 10:30.  Hate that.  Oh, and seriously, same hospital I just had band surgery 6 weeks prior, but I get the 1000 questions registration again.  Yes, husband is still unemployed, but thanks for reminding me.  :)  Actually, that doesn't bother me too much.  He is in school, so it's all good.  I was just annoyed a little.

Anyways - we get called back (4 of us) to have nutrition class - how to eat after a fill.  Umm...same as after the surgery.  Got it.  But this is a new nutritionist to me...and she wasn't quite in sync with what the others have said...but it's all good.

Then we wait to go back one by one to get the fill and drink the barium.  Fill - hurt more than I thought it would. Needles don't always bother me, this one did.  Barium - not as bad as I thought.  So, balanced out in the end.

I found out I have 3ccs in my LapBand brand band.  Say that a few times.

I have been doing liquids and mushies...had to have yogurt for lunch yesterday, right after.  I was growling hungry.  Then I had pintos and cheese for dinner.  This morning, a shake.  Lunch was a work meeting that I totally didn't plan for with lunch ordered in - pizza.  I ate the cheese.  It's mushy, isn't it?  And then beans and cheese again tonight.  Tomorrow, we'll ease into more food.

Let's talk water.  I think I had convinced myself preop that I drink more water than I do.  I fill my glasses with ice at work (we have a fab ice machine) but it never occurred to me how much ice displaced the amount of water.  Science wasn't my strong suit.  So....I need to work on upping the water.

So - what are your tricks and tips for adding more water into my day??

Saturday, October 23, 2010

I love followers...

Thank you to all of you for your support.  We all know how much easier this makes everything - to go through it together.  I really appreciate all of your comments!!

My long week is over.  I can get back to focusing on me.  I did go to yoga class on Thursday.  I'm painfully aware that I am the heaviest there and can't bend in half - or even in most ways.  :)  But I'm trying to focus on me.  I was able to hold my leg behind me and opposite arm in front of me while on my hands and knees.  At one point though we were stretching our legs tot he left - so back on the floor head straight to the ceiling, legs to the side with goal of them being at your waist height but ankles on the floor.  right.  Fellow bandsters - be careful of this on the left side.  I felt some pulling and oddness that can only be associated in my head (of course) with completing dislodging my band.  I know I didn't - I have felt fine since, but gosh it was an odd feeling.  And a month plus out, I thought I was good to go with the stretching.  :)

I'm doing a lot of hanging low this weekend.  Catching up from the week that was.  I went for a walk last night and hope to do so again.  I hit almost 12000 steps at work alone on Thursday.  Trying to keep up my average for the with not giving myself a 2000 step day this weekend.

And countdown is still on for the fill on Tuesday!!  : )

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

So, this is bandster hell....

I finally found it.  I worried I'd not get to experience it.  I'm not sure why I want to experience the bad stuff - but I do.  Maybe it's my way of feeling like I belong. 

Anyways - I found it!  I suppose that if eating a box of generic pizza rolls, 2 handfuls of pretzels and a payday candy bar, while thinking about what I want to eat on the way home in an hour isn't bandster hell, then someone is messing with me.

I feel full after eating that.  But not satisfied.  Which I suspect is the mind games piece of things.

But I really want something from McDonalds.

But I know I shouldn't and don't need it.

The next 2 days at work will be nuts.  I have 14 hours each day of meetings for our employees.  I need to figure out, quickly, how I will handle the next 2 days and eating and mindless eating and finding a way to be satisfied.

Only 6 more days until my fill....

Thursday, October 14, 2010

The ups and downs of it all.

I am awfully glad that I wrote about something positive this morning.

I weighed in today and went up 2.1.  Blah.

Of course I immediately had all the negative feelings.  See - you can't lose weight.  Even with a band.  You don't know how to do this.  You are destined to be fat forever. 

I then proceeded to eat a carrot stick too quickly and BAM it was stuck.

Guess I deserved that, band.  Touche.

I know I can do this.  I know I'm in the world of bandster hell right now where I feel like I can eat and I am still fighting with head hunger and I still have old habits that have been with me forever.  It all takes time.  And gaining 2.1 still has me 18 under where I was to start with.  So....I know I can do this.

But all of those habits come with the habit of talking down to myself and not being sure and confident and quite honestly, the fact that I have indeed not been successful before.

But this is different.  this is a tool.  I need to start really using it.  I need to do the right things.

I have 11 days until my barium swallow and fill.  I need to follow the guidelines the office set for me with eating, stick with them for that time and see how it works for me. 

Tomorrow is a new day.


Just a quick post as I head into work.

So excited to see a couple of comments about walking.  And that Read even downloaded an app to see how many steps she is doing!

I got up and walked a little over a mile this morning - got in over 3k steps before I even head into work.  Then yoga tonight!!

Good start to the day!!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

It was bound to happen....

I lost a follower.  Not sure why - but I know it happens.  Still hard to not take personally and wonder what I said to make them go away.

Actually, one of my greatest fears and struggles is around the idea that people don't want to be around me.  I get even a little insecure when my husband wants to go to the man cave to watch TV instead of watch with me.  Although I will easily admit that I sometimes like when he isn't home or around and I get my own me time.  Funny.  anyway, I'm like it with friends and family members and just kinda don't like the idea that people don't want to be with me.  It isn't rational when I think about it too deeply - so I don't much.  :)

Not much to report really.  My sinuses are acting up, so I haven't felt 100%.  I feel like I'm just on hold with the band.  I feel some restriction.  Still no bread happening - but I get hungry or do some mindless eating at times.  I'm not really planning on a big loss tomorrow.  I'd be happy with just a little.  We'll see how that goes.

I need to start up-ing the exercise.  I know that.  I need to bust a move a little more.  I am barely hitting 3000 steps a days if I don't try.  I'm trying to keep up with my boss who is hitting 6000 a day average.  we have one employee hitting over 20k a day!!!    Can you believe that?  she was a walker to begin with.  But 20k a day???

What about you all?  Have you counted steps before??  How are you exercising these days?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Scale I'm in Love With...

...happens to be the one at my Weight Watchers meeting.  It always shows lower than my one at home.  This morning at home, I was sure I was gaining this week.  Got to my meeting - down 1.6!!  Woo hoo!!

So, I'm down more than 5% according to when I started WW - which is after I had lost about 5 pounds from my heaviest.  I am down 15.4 according to WW - and that is from one week prior to surgery.  So, in 4 weeks.

Feeling pretty good about that.

Still struggling with breaking the bread habit.  Seriously, one bite and I feel tight.  But my brain can't seem to get that and I keep taking bites thinking it's all good.  I need to get that Pavlov thing going soon!  LOL

Not much else going on.  We started a walking competition between our plant and the other plants in the US.  We all have fancy pedometers that download onto a website.  Kinda cool.  Do you have any idea how many steps you take in a day?  I had no clue.  I knew that about 2500 is a mile.  I knew that in theory you should be stepping 10k a day.  I thought, ok.   I have a desk job.  I walk a bit at work, but not constantly.  I should at least be at 5k a day.


If I don't work at it, I end up at 2500 - 3500 a day.  For the love.  So, last week, I went to work late one day and got in a 1.5 mile walk.  Ended up with almost 8k.

Some of the highest steppers have shared that they are constantly moving at night in front of the TV.  I'm going to have to "step" (haha) it up.  :)  We have 6 months and our goal is to fictitiously walk from Breckenridge, CO to Las Vegas....  I might never make it at this rate!!

I'm off today and tomorrow.  I am hoping to get in some heavy duty walking tomorrow!!  I have days to burn - which I love.  So, these days are great...nothing much planned, plenty to get done.  Maybe it will, maybe it won't!!

Until later!

Monday, October 4, 2010

Dear Bread Products...

Dear Bread and Bread-like Products,

I need to break up with you.  I know, I know.  37 years is a long time to have been in a relationship with someone.  But that's part of the problem.  I have to move you out of my life completely for now.  You keep tempting me, I keep forgetting that I need to move past you.

You see, I've met someone new.  This new person - um, band - in my life doesn't like you so much.  She gets jealous and tries to strangle me when you come around.  Pains in my chest and back and I feel like you're going to come back up.  The bread at Texas Roadhouse - fail.  The Cheddar biscuit at Red Lobster - fail.  the pastry I just tried to take a few bites of - fail.  I need to give my new relationship with the band a chance.  And you are standing in the way of my comfort now, and my happiness long term.

I will visit you now and then.  The times away will grow longer, however.  And the bites will be fewer and less frequent.

I'll always love you.  You've been too good to me.  And it's not you, it's me.  You deserve someone who can fully appreciate you.  I don't think that will ever be me.  I don't want to end up hating you.

For now,

Friday, October 1, 2010

Love my Band!!

Yesterday I had my first "I love my band" experience.

We ordered in lunches for a group of employees working here, but are from a plant on the other side of the country.  They are here for 4 weeks, go home for a week and then back here for 3.  Anyhoo...they were having lunch with our plant manager, so we ordered their lunches and my boss told me and my co-worker to order lunches for ourselves.

Well...we ordered from a famous local place known for their BBQ sauce.  We ordered pulled pork sandwiches, kettle chips and a huge salad.  Coworker and I got ours and set it aside while we took the group theirs and then we went and weighed in for WW.

SIDE NOTE - I lost one pound this week.  More on that in a minute!

We came back and started to eat.  I had looked at the nutritionals on this.  I decided to not eat the chips - too risky at that moment.  I took off an eyeballed portion of about 2oz of the pulled pork and then had my big salad.  I started eating.  Seriously - 2oz of meat and I was STUFFED!!!!  A little salad with Blue Cheese.  That's it!!  More than 2/3 of my lunch still sat there. 

Merely 2 weeks earlier and I would have inhaled it all and been looking for some dessert!!  :)

Loving my band!

Now...the weight loss.  I lost 1 pound.  I've watched Biggest Loser enough to know that you don't lose big forever or every week, but I was kinda disappointed.  After going 2 weeks without the official weigh in at WW and losing 12.something and then 1 measly pound.

Of course this led to self doubt and being hard on myself.  I'm surely going to be the person who fails at this.  I knew I wouldn't do it.  AGAIN.  It was too good to be true.  Blah blah blah blah blah.

I snapped out of it.  But, This is clearly the beginning of the mind work that needs to be done.  I mean - seriously - I went from the weigh in to a tiny lunch.  Also 2 weeks ago, 1 pound lost would have meant FREEDOM!  Eat away!!  But I had a tiny tiny lunch!  woo hoo!! 

I know I can do this.  I feel the difference more and more each time I make good choices and bad choices and their effect on my body.  I am more and more aware of all of the craziness around us regarding food and bad choices that are available.  I will succeed.  It will take time.  But I can do this.

How about you all?  Have you had "tiny meal" experiences?  Small weight loss trying to mess with your mind experiences?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Post Op Appointment

Nothing big to report.  My scars are healing.  My period will go away someday.  I can eat soft foods.

DH got a fill.  He's finally feeling some good restriction.

I made the most wonderful meal to celebrate.  Again with TheWorldAccordingToEggface and her yummy sausage and ricotta stuffed peppers.  To die for.  Took a little time, but worth it.

Hope you are all doing well and looking forward to the ends of your weeks!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Still here....

It's been a few days.  Things are good.  I was exhausted last night - not sure if that is surgery related or not...but it might have to do with not sleeping wonderfully.  I just am having a hard time getting comfy.  I'm a side sleeper and while I sleep normally on my right side (and the left side is where the work was done), I think that my hips still make my middle squeeze a little on the left side.  It's just not comfy yet.  But getting there!

And the ITCHING!!  Dear God, the itching!  I catch myself scratching my belly like some old man...kinda funny.


Next part might be TMI.

Here's my other complaint.  I started my period the day after surgery.  Seriously, like I needed that.  Gas pains and bleeding.  good times.'s still hanging in there.  Not as strong - and it was strong - but kinda coming and going for the last few days.  I have PCOS - I've never had regular periods, even in my younger thinner days.  I once went 6 months without.  Most of the time they come and go in 5 days max and never horribly heavy.  This one was bad.  Auntie Flo, you are now uninvited for a while, please.

I know it's probably hormones, but...again, come on now, cut this girl a break!

What else.  I'm hungry.  Going for post-op tomorrow.  I want to confess to you all that on Sunday I had the cheese, ham and pineapple from a pizza.  My DH wanted pizza, so I got him a little personal size one at the store and felt bad for myself - I mean, how can I sit and watch (and smell!!) pizza while he eats it and me sit and drink soup/protein shakes/something equally uninteresting.  So, I bought a pizza for me, knowing I'd just eat the toppings, no crust.

There is now more than 1/2 of a pizza untouched sitting in the garbage can.  I couldn't control myself.  One little taste of the cheese, then a little more.  then the rest of the 1/4 pizza I gave myself to eat the toppings of.  Then back in the kitchen for another taste.  And I had to throw it out.

The band fixes your stomach, eventually, but not your head!  Say it with me.  Just don't tempt yourself until it's time.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow.  Please doc, tell me it's time for something more!

At work we are starting a walking competition tomorrow.  I'm 1/2 in charge of it locally.  We all have pedometers that download onto our computers to let us know how many steps we've taken.  We're competing against the other US sites.  Looking forward to it.  I barely walk at work - I've been averaging about 3000 steps, which is just over a mile.  I need to add some steps!!  So, this should be some good motivation for some exercise!!

Alright, enough rambling for now.  Sounds like people had great times in Chicago.  I love Chicago - I lived there for 3 years.  I am sure the experience was indescribable though.  I look forward to joining everyone next year, wherever everyone ends up!!

Until later!!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Party follow-up

Good morning everyone!

I know you've been waiting all night to hear how it  I had a hard time.  You see, the bread they bring out with the cinnamon butter....yeah.

I had 3/4 of a roll (they are making them smaller than they used to, I noticed) with some cinnamon butter on it.  I chewed and sucked on it, so it seemed to go down ok.

And I had applesauce and mashed potatoes.  Oh gosh did this taste good to me.

And a bite of cake.

Not horrible for all of the temptation, really!!  I'm pretty ok with it.  I know that in the end completely restricting myself from any one food will be hard and counterproductive.

I was full all night from eating that at 4!

DH and I then went to the newer outlet mall they built in the area we were in.  We walked and did a little shopping.  It was beautiful outside, so it was just a nice way to spend an evening.

I'm loving that it's Sunday and beautiful outside again.  I'm hoping to go for a long walk later.

Talk to you soon!!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Birthday Party

Today is our niece's birthday party - at Texas Roadhouse.  I have hemmed and hawed and vacillated about going.  She needs our support.  She doesn't have the greatest support at home.  DH's sister is a single mom and struggles financially.  Niece's father is supportive financially, but lives far away.  And she is a good, smart girl.  So...I feel like it's important to be there.  Of all of the members of his family, hers is the top birthday I don't want to miss.

However, as I mentioned earlier, it's at Texas Roadhouse.  Steak is in my top fav foods.  And I am starting to hit the hungry portion of the liquids phase.  I have a plan, though.  We are going about an hour away.  I am going to make a protein shake right before we leave to drink on the way up there.  Once there, I will order either mashed potatoes or applesauce and just be content.  I can do this.  It's only one meal.  And I agree with you all - who cares what the family thinks or talks about.  Truth be told, they will find something to talk about regarding me, my DH, whomever, no matter what.

Let's talk about this hungry phase.  Phew, did it hit me out of the blue yesterday.  I was leaving work at 5 and starving.  I knew I needed to come home and make something a little more substantial.  So I stopped at the store to buy the stuff for some black bean soup.  I'm doing ok with soups - but realized black bean would have a ton more protein that the other soups I've been eating.

The grocery store is a whole new experience!!!

I walked in and had to remind myself I couldn't eat any of the stuff that I am used to looking at.  Even the fruits and veggies, I kept moving.  I'm so used to going in and finding some "treat" to buy, but this time realized that there was no point.  Kinda empowering, kinda odd.

The soup took a long time to make, but was worth it.  Very satisfying.  Hopefully it will get me through the next 5 days to my post-op visit, where (again, hopefully) they might tell me to start adding in foods beyond liquids.

It's finally fall here - cool morning and only up to 74 today!!  Weeee!  I love this time of year!!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Awww. I feel loved.

Thank you everyone for the comments yesterday.  And the new followers.  I love this.  I'm, again, so glad to have a group of people around who get it and understand it.

I did go back to work today, but it wasn't horrible.  And I went in late.  And left early.  Tomorrow I am scheduled to be on an online training all day.  We'll see if that happens.  :)

I also have my first weight watchers meeting since banding - we'll see how that goes too.  My scale here has been hovering around 265....pretty nice trade off for the liquids phase.

Tonight, though, my sister hosted one of those home parties - and this was WildTree who is kinda like tastefully$imple, but more whole foods oriented.  I did a lot of licking of sauces.  I don't feel great now though.  Ehhh...we'll see, again.

I'm heading to bed.  Again - thank you all!  I am feeling so blessed to have good people around.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Perhaps it is time...

I am sitting here at 5th day post op.  I have the incredibly wonderful ability to be able to stay home with no questions for 5 work days.  This is the 4th work day off.

I think I need to go back.

I'm getting  a little lazy around the house.  I called the cable company crabby because for about 45 minutes the channels were pixelating - you know, the little squares that look like something is wrong.  I went for a walk.  I am doing the dishes as they get dirty. 

I even went for a walk.

So, yes, I think I should attempt to go back tomorrow.  Even if it is just for part of the day.

The thing that has held me back is that I just don't feel 100%.  I have queasy moments - or am I hungry?  I haven't figured out the difference yet.  I am mostly dependent on time - has it been 3-4 hours since I started eating something?  And ***TMI*** I have had diarrhea once last night and once this morning.  The kind where you think it's going to be gas, but surprise, you need to get your butt to the bathroom?  yeah - that kind.

Good times.

I have to believe that that is partly because I am only doing liquids.  Protein shakes, soup, pudding, yogurt.  Rinse and repeat.  Thank goodness I didn't have to do liquids ahead of time - that would have put me over the edge.  I just keep having to fight head hunger.  I want cheese or meat.  Real meat.

The first thing I am having to learn to repeat to myself - I will have (insert craving here) soon.  Soon I can have it.  I have the rest of my life to have whatever it is.  But for now, I need to heal, to be healthy, to do as I am asked.  I won't die.  People don't die after this surgery from starving.  However, the smells, the sights - they make me question my strength.  Can I really do this for 2 weeks?

Saturday, we are supposed to go to Texas Roadhouse for my DH's niece's 18th birthday.  We don't want to miss it.  We need to be there to support her - she needs all the positive support we can give.  However - really?  Texas Roadhouse?  With the steak?  With the fried stuff?  Where I can eat a yummy side of applesauce or mashed potatoes - neither of which are on my list of approved foods, but appear to be the safest route.  *sigh*  Clearly, I just need to suck it up.  Again - I won't die.  And I have the rest of my life to eat steak, maybe.  :)

My other challenge - I didn't want my in-laws to know about the surgery at all.  I just don't need the judging and the conversations.  I don't trust most of them and I know they all love their gossip.  I would just rather not be their topic of conversation.  But, DH told his mom.  And his mom doesn't always remember to keep things quiet.  So....I am guessing everyone there will know that I am eating barely anything because I have had this surgery.  Lovely. 

So, see - I need to go back to work.  Only my boss and my coworker know there, so I can just be.  And I have plenty of do, so I won't have to think about much.

Oh, and my new engagement ring arrived today.  I like it - so pretty.  It's bigger than the old one and radiant cut instead of princess - so it feels odd to see it.  But I like it and am so happy to have it back on my hand.

Oh, and (I keep thinking of things) did anyone watch Mike and Molly last night?  Not sure how to feel about it.  Loved the open conversation about how NOT EASY it is to be heavy.  I didn't love the little digs and jokes - but they were made from family and close friends, so does that make it easier or better or more acceptable?  I'm not sure.  I will give it a few more episodes...we'll see.  What did you all think?

Until later!

Monday, September 20, 2010

2 recipes

I'm starting to feel a little more normal.  I'm home from work today - trying to figure out if I will try gooing back for part of the day at least tomorrow.  To be determined.

But, I am trying today to get in some decent protein and water.  I found 2 great recipes that I wanted to share for these full liquid days.

Chicken Enchilada Soup
1 can reduced fat cream of chicken soup
1 can cheddar cheese soup
1/2 can mild enchilada sauce
1 can skim milk

mix into a pot and warm slowly.

This is tasty - use more or less enchilada sauce as you can handle it.  1/2 can is a little kicky, but I like a little kick and it's nice to have some flavor.  It's not horribly high in protein, I think I figured about 5g for 6 oz, but it is a good tasting alternative when those around you are eating real, savory food.  I found this recipe in several different places - blogs and message boards - I can't remember where exactly to credit them.

I also made the Peanut Butter Cup Protein Shake found on  If you haven't been to her site, you should.  Tons of protein shake recipes and other good high protein recipes.  She had RNY, but so much of her stuff is great as a resource for those of us who are banded.  Anyway, the Peanut Butter Cup shake might just save me.  It tasted like a real shake and I was able to drink it all.  I did use the Peanut Butter Flour, which I think is going to be a wonderful addition to the pantry as well!  16g of protein for 1/4 cup.  She has another on her website that is PB&J Protein Shake - I think I'm trying that one out tomorrow! 

How is everyone else doing?  Any other tips, tricks, things you discovered during your postop full liquids phase that might help us all get through it?

Until later!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

2 days after

Hi all!

I'm sitting here, sipping soup, and resting.  The horrid gas pains from my first day subsided by the next morning, thank goodness.  That was bad!!  Now, I'm just trying to keep doing some deep breathing and relaxing.  I went for a quick walk outside last night.  Then had to get up and go next door at 10:30 to tell our neighbors to bring in the kids - they were so loud.  Really?  10:30pm and your kids are outside playing - and you don't think there is something wrong with that?  If they were just hanging out, I could care less - but they were running and screaming and I just wanted to sleep.  When I came back in, I was pretty worked up and out of breath...I shouldn't have gone over there.  But, I just am at wits end with these people.

Only other kinda scary moment is that Thursday night I had bled through my gauze pads pretty heavily where the port site is.  We called the Dr and he said, no problem just put pressure on it.  Well, it bled through again overnight and he said, really - more pressure.  And I did and it stopped.  So...slowly but surely I am pulling things back together.

I'm not hungry.  I'm forcing myself to eat some today.  Yesterday I think I had 6oz total...I just couldn't do it.  I'm still not hungry.  It's odd - I have weird feelings in my belly - once upon a time I would have surely fed them, as the only real explanation of odd tummy feelings is hunger (haha) but now I'm convinced it's my body settling and adjusting...and gas and what not.  DH made food this morning that smelled great, but I didn't crave it.  That was a nice feeling.

My parents just came back from a 2.5 week vacation - they were able to go to Italy and take a Mediterranean cruise.  So excited for them - and now to see them.  I scheduled this surgery kinda forgetting they'd still be gone.  My mom is a nurse - and I missed her more than I thought I would with the surgery stuff.

I'm going to post my pre-op photos a little later.  I didn't get weighed at the hospital, that I know of.  So, that night I weighed myself and my scale showed 279.1.  Now that is up from where I thought I'd be.  But, it was also after surgery - so I will blame that on gas and such and move forward.  My official weigh in days will be Thursday.  But - I took a sneaky peek this morning and saw 271.1.  weee!

more later!!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Quick hello!

Things went well today - I'm banded!!!

I'm home and resting.  Sipping water.

The gas pains are horrible.  I'm trying to walk around.  I'm using GasX dissolvables.  But it is horrible pain.

Any other suggestions for it??

Thousand Word Thursday

As you all read this, I am hopefully in recovery.

But I wanted to post on Amy's post this favorite piece of jewlery.

This isn't creative...but it is by far my engagement ring.

I lost it.  I have no idea where it is.  I put it in a box on the dresser so DH could take it to be dipped.  And it's gone.  I have no idea.  Maybe I put it somewhere else, maybe I accidentally threw the box away.  Who knows.  It makes me sad.  We've called the insurance company.

As I sit in recovery or wherever, DH will be meeting with the jewler in the lobby of the hospital picking out a new ring for me.

It's a brand new day.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Twas the night before banding....

...and all through the house...

is anxiousness and excitement and planning and all sorts of things.  We just hit the drug store to make sure they have Roxicet for DH to pick up tomorrow.  We went to a nice dinner at one of my favorite dinners.  I ate too much.  But it was so good.  I brought home tons of my leftovers.  My sister will get them tomorrow when she comes over to babysit me while DH goes to his night class.

And work is complete.  That was really the hardest part.  I have no idea if I'll be back on Monday or Wed or 2 Mondays from now or when.  So I had to do a little planning to make sure that things could wait until I get back.  I brought home my computer so that I can do some things from bed or the couch if need be.  But, it was a long day, for sure.

So, now I wait.  I hope I sleep well.  I hope it all goes quickly.  I am so ready to get to the other side.  I can't believe it is happening!!  I have to be there at 5:30am...ick.  I'm off to relax some with DH.

I'll catch you all on the other side!!  And btw - thank you to my 9 followers!!  Weeee!  It's really the best part of this - having a community of people to go through this with.  Thank you.  I hope to one day have even more!!!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Good Weekend and Last Dinner mentality

I love this time of year.  Here in the Cincinnati area, nights gets cooler, days are warm and sunny - but lack the horrid humidity of the summer.  We sleep with windows wide open and pull the blanket a little tighter in the morning.

We had my girlfriends and their significant others for dinner last night.  We had decided to try and have dinner every other month, taking turns to host and giving us an opportunity to use good china and things that you get for your wedding, but seem to rarely get to use.  It's been fun.  But the best part is that we were able to eat on our patio last night.  Perfect!

This also helped me to complete the nest phase of this surgery, the one I discussed here.  I was able to finish cleaning most of the major areas, leaving the office for while I am off.'s only 4 more days until surgery!  I can't believe it's almost here.  I am ready to move past it and onto life after the band.  I just got back from the store to get milk and a few things for DH, so he can survive at least the first few days of post-op without me having to go to the store.

Of course, while I was there I picked up pretzels and dip.  You know, because I'll never be able to eat those again.  BAER.  And pop.  There was a new flavor - I had to try it.  Oh dear band, please help me to control some urges - and if I buy such stuff, keep me from eating more than a taste.

I'm trying to figure out if I want to go out for dinner Tues or Wed night.  I feel like I want to - but don't all the same.  Again with the last supper routine....

struggle struggle struggle.

Friday, September 10, 2010

weeee! I have followers!!

Hi!!  I am so excited that a few of you decided to follow me!  I feel the love.  I enjoy reading everyone's blogs so much.  I hope along the way I can be love and support and fun and understanding and companionship for others, as they have been for me!!

Enough sappy stuff!

Work this week has been horrendous.  I work in HR.  I'm a people person.  This week, not liking the people so much.  We fired our temp agency today - and the contractor we just hired to supposedly make my life easier by doing some recruiting.  We've had employees lie to us and go behind our backs.  Nothing horribly serious - but enough to have our faith in people waiver.  It's odd.  People just aren't happy.  I'm not sure how we best go about making them happy.

I got the insurance thing figured out.  THANK GOODNESS!  That was a huge stresser.  Sounds like - as usual - I got wrong info from the insurance cust service person.  So - we are back to straight up, outpatient copay.  Phew.

I'm not doing well with eating.  I weighed in at WW yesterday, up almost 2 pounds from where the dietitian had me on Tuesday.  Ehhh...I gave myself a free day on Wed.  You'll have that.  We are having my dearest friends over for dinner tomorrow night.  We're grilling chicken and having grilled fruit and pound cake for dessert.  I plan on small pound cake, lots of fruit.  Plus my friends are bringing some healthy sides.  It should be a good night.  Only bummer - it hasn't rained here in literally 2 months - feels like years.  Tomorrow night - high chance of rain.  boo.  I wanted to eat outside.  Oh well....

Do you all like to entertain?

Enough of my ramblings for now.  Hope you are all having fab Fridays and weekends!!

Until later....

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Protein Freebie Sample

I just ordered this sample.  Free protein can't be bad.  15g per serving.  Not super high....good for when you need something quick.  I wonder how it tastes?

Click here to sign up for the freebie.

Click here to see the nutritional details

So Frustrated.

So, next week at this time I'll be recovering.  Next week at this time I'll be banded.  One week away.  Next Thursday morning.

How is it that I just today - one week before - found out that the copay isn't $100, but it's $500.


Seems that our company has us billed as an inpatient, despite it being outpatient.

And I just found out. the way...I'm the HR person.


I know this is still small money compared to those who are paying out of pocket for the whole thing.  But, with one week to go, I suddenly need to figure out where I'm going to get an extra $400.

grrr grrr grrr.

Thousand Word Thursday

Amy had a great idea that I think started last week.  I'm joining in this week!

We are supposed to post a meaningful decoration in our home.  I chose 2, that share the same space.

On the right is a framed copy of our wedding invitation.  A very talented friend of mine designed them, and then framed one for our gift.  We used pink gerber daisies as a theme - and she made one to decorate the decorative hanger on the frame.  Love.

On the left is the one picture I have from our wedding that I felt was worth displaying.  I haven't done much with our pictures.  We were married almost 2 years ago.  Part of it is that I don't LOVE our pictures....we used a family friend and she was just ok.  The other part - I hate how we look in them.  Since having his band, my husband looks great now.  I am still heavy.  For now, only.  So, I chose the picture with just our hands.

It's also meaningful as just about a month ago, I lost my engagement ring.  I am still pissed at myself.  But this picture shows that ring and the 2 bands that go on either side.

I love our wedding stuff.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Last pre-op nutritionist meeting

Yesterday I went for my last meeting with the nutritionist before the big day.  Basically, it was to tell me about my post-op diet.

Classic 2 week liquids.  Nothing new to see here.

BUT - I had lost 7 pounds since my last nutritionist meeting which was like 3 weeks ago.

I was really excited!!

See, I haven't been great at keeping up with my diet and following what they had to say.  I haven't since I started this all in like April.  But, I have been having more protein drinks for meals...and yogurt and veggies.  So, healthier all together.

I am also starting Weight W@tchers at work tomorrow.  We have about 20 people doing it.  I have done WW before, been successful even.  But, I think we know how this story ends...girl loses weight, girl gains weight back.

My goal here, as discussed here, is to have a plan - something to follow, and people to hold me accountable. Plus, my company reimburses the amount paid, if we attend 10 of 12 meetings of a, I have little to lose.  Ummmm...lots to lose, no risk.  :)

I just can't believe that next week at this time I'll be taking some pre-op pics and getting ready for my last sleep unbanded!!  Weeeee!!!

My new home.

I thought I'd be all cool and start my blog in wordpress.  Yeah.  I don't like it so much.

In case you want to see what came before....

So here I am!!  Welcome to the blogger version of Once Upon A Band!