tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62071777151061909072024-03-05T04:45:33.437-05:00...Once Upon A Band.........a woman tried to find her way to health...Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-90603254583521516212011-07-29T22:59:00.000-04:002011-07-29T22:59:38.362-04:00Are you kidding me?So...when this all started I said - and had many say to me - that this will get worse before it gets better.<br />
<br />
Huh. Hard to imagine in the middle of it - but it's true.<br />
<br />
- yesterday I got a copy of the amended protection order. turns out STBXH and his lawyer submitted for it to be changed for him to come on my street for work. Fine. My lawyer knew that part. I'm good with that. Oh, and they failed to mention that they added that he could call my dad 1x to meet here to get more clothes and tools. Um, no. I don't agree to that. Not comfortable with that. You took 45 minutes the first night with the police and took my stuff. You took almost 30 minutes the second time. You don't need anything more until we settle the divorce.<br />
<br />
- I get to go to court, I found out today, on Monday. He had charges against him for the imfamous night and this is the pretrial conference and the prosecutor needs me there. Excellent. Oh and I got to retell the story for the 100th time to them this morning. Excellent.<br />
<br />
- His girlfriend, that I suspected and he denied, posted to his Facebook page tonight that she loved waking up to the flowers he gave her and thanks for a great date last night. Seriously, sent me into a tail spin. Thank goodness for my parents, despite my dad's desire to medicate with food and bringing ice cream. I know I need to unfriend him. This has all happened so fast and I just am not there yet. But...this isn't good. And there are people that he is friends with that are my family and his and my friends who don't know what is going on yet. But, gosh, now they get to find out - don't they?<br />
<br />
/Vent.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow is the reunion. Wish I had a designated driver. On the other hand, probably best to not make a fool out of myself. :)Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-64245830523940293522011-07-28T20:25:00.000-04:002011-07-28T20:25:32.425-04:00Your Support...and today's blah momentFirst of all - and most importantly - Thank You. Thank you all for being there and supporting me. Your kind words, your stories of relating, your encouragement means so much to me. Thank you. I can't read the blog comments at work, so it's hard to get on here often. So, while I don't post everyday, know I read the comments and cherish them all as I struggle with lonely and angry and sad and oversensative and all the ugly emotions that go with all of this.<br />
<br />
And I promise I'm not all negative and moping all day. I'm just getting out some of the ughs here. My boss asked me today if I was happier. I told him far from it - he said I was hiding it well, because I seemed happier. Kinda funny, kinda probably not healthy. But it's my coping skill right now, especially at work.<br />
<br />
STBXH put a hold on his mail. Fine. But in the past 2.5 weeks, I've had now 4 conversations with the USPS regarding delivering my mail, despite holding his. Today I finally had a super there tell me that tey can't hold for one, not the other. Fine - I told her cancel the hold and bring me all of the mail. I got mail, not all of it - nothing for him today, so I know it's not all of it. However, they had a letter from the prosecutor - they want to talk to me. Before his pre-trial on Monday morning. Awesome. So, I will try and talk to them tomorrow. And they got the protective order changed so that STBXH can contact my father once to get tools and clothes. Really - you've been here twice since this started, the 1st time for 45 minutes and the police didn't watch you like they promised me and you took my Nook and I suspect my engagement ring and wedding rings and some cash. You don't need to come back here right now. And you certainly need not involve my father. They told my lawyer about the other part - that they were changing it to include that he could be on my street for work, only work. But they left out the other part. Seriously, don't play sneaky on me now. I am trying to be the better person. <br />
<br />
And I'm out of Ambien. I forgot to call for a refill. I'm thinking it's a night for an Ativan. :) or just my bourbon and coke.<br />
<br />
And you all are right - I need to focus on exercise and diet. Control those things. We all know it's not that easy. We'd all choose controlling those things as our control of choice if it were that easy. But, you are right. I'd feel better. I have a treadmill in my basement. I need to use it. I need to get out with the dog. I need to just be mindful of food. I am eating less, overall - just lacking appetite. But I'm not making great choices.<br />
<br />
Phew - again, just good to get it all out. <br />
<br />
Love you all. Talk to you soon.<br />
mePhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-51249942287042833002011-07-27T08:00:00.000-04:002011-07-27T08:00:28.160-04:00Just feeling down.<div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;">I just feel down right now. I know - it's to be expected. But I don't usually feel this down for this long.</div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;"> </div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;">One of my biggest fears and insecurities is the thought that people just don't want to be with me. I used to take it personally if STBXH didn't want to spend time with me, but wanted to be in his man cave or whatever. I am sensitive when people cancel plans or put off making plans with me. Now, it's not all rational. I didn't always want to be with STBXH. I like alone time sometimes. I don't always get right back to people to make plans. I have even at times cancelled plans, not because I didn't want to be with them, but because something came up.</div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;"> </div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;">Well, today, I had a lunch date with one friend and a dinner date with another. Lunch date said she could still get together, but it would be better if we reschedule. sure, no problem. dinner date was with a woman I was really close to in jr high school. By the time we were sophomores, (and this is all still my perspective) she had turned our group of girlfriends away from me and we all in all stopped talking, leaving me without close girlfriends at my high school. I developed new friendships, with people at other high schools...but still that all stung. In fact, I believe it was this time in life that made me so sensitive about people wanting to be with me. ANYWAYS, thanks to the power of Facebook, said friend and I "found" each other and started talking again. We actually have lots in common and share opinions on politics and religion. So I suggested that we maybe have lunch and catch up - sure that she'd find a way to avoid me - and she didn't. In fact, she was so sure I still really hated her for how she treated me, she was shocked I suggested lunch. We met, had a great lunch and vowed to get together again soon. She is married, has 3 kids, lots of friends, active. So...it's been almost 6 months since that lunch. We've tried a few times...never worked out. Tonight was supposed to be our chance - but, she texted me a while ago that she had a sick kid and that we'd have to reschedule.</div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;"> </div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;">OK...we can do that.</div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;"> </div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;">but it's amazing how easily I can go back to those feelings from high school. Our 20 year high school reunion is this weekend. I asked if she was going. Turns out that the 2 other girls we were close with are staying with her this weekend from out of town and she messaged that they weren't sure if they were going. Honestly, I just felt jealous about being left out, not getting to see them, etc. Really? People I haven't been close to in 22 years? Dear God....but I'll tell you, I am 15 years old all over again!! Jealous and hurt.</div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;"> </div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;">And my other struggle right now is lonliness. I know I'm doing the right thing when it comes to my marriage. But dang it if it isn't lonely knowing I am going home to an empty house tonight, now that plans are cancelled. And it was lonely this weekend. And Sunday when I went to the grocery store for what I think is my first big trip since this all went down 3 weeks ago, I am pretty sure I had a panic attack. Small, but pretty sure. I felt my heart race and it took every ounce of trying to keep focused on where I was and what I was doing. I just kept thinking, no I don't need that anymore. No, I don't need to get those anymore. Those were for STBXH when I used to buy those. Everywhere I turned, it was as if he followed me.</div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;"> </div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;">And I'm not alone, but I think I'm one of my first friends to go through this, so I am struggling with not knowing who to talk to and about what and what things mean I'm going nuts vs what things don't mean that. Does that even make sense?</div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;"> </div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;">So...I struggle. Still at 260. Trying desperately to find the strength and energy to exercise - at least walk. It's so dang hot outside. I had "custody" of the big dog right now...the one my STBXH went and got one day after I specifically told him I didn't want a big dog, I didn't have the time or energy or lifestyle or house or yard for a big dog.. That didn't stop him from letting me come home one day to the new addition. Anyway, our friends offered to keep him for a while while we go through this and STBXH finds a place to live where he can take him. Well, the friend's mom had a heart attack in NC - so they had to go suddenly. So, Max came back to live with me. It'd be great for me to walk him. It's what I need - it's what he needs. But I have found a 1000 excuses to not do it, including we live in a really busy, no sidewalk neighborhood and he isn't the best behaved with me - and is 80 pounds. But, perhaps tonight, we walk.</div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;"> </div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;">And perhaps we'll do that after I shop for something to wear to this reunion. I thought last year that I'd have this surgery and be down a bunch and looking for different clothes. Trying to not focus on that though. Just focus on today - this week - and try to keep things together. and make a plan and do better.</div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;"> </div><div style="font-family: arial; font-size: small;">Anyone else have some insecurity from a long time ago that crops up it's head still, years later?</div>Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-78581504377392095942011-07-17T19:41:00.000-04:002011-07-17T19:41:34.639-04:00**tap tap** is this thing on??Um. Hi.<br />
<br />
I know. I've been missing. I haven't posted. I've been MIA. <br />
<br />
And then I was BOOB of the day.<br />
<br />
Oops. <br />
<br />
And I have roommates for BOOBs who are sure - I am sure - that I am going to disappear for good.<br />
<br />
No such luck. :) I am here. And I can't wait to meet you all in September.<br />
<br />
Let's just summarize with life has been difficult.<br />
<br />
I will now share parts of the stories. Feel free to skip or move on or read it all. Some of it is really fresh and hard to write about. Some is just same old stuff.<br />
<br />
<strong>Weight.</strong><br />
I stay the same. This morning I was still 260.2. Good news - I haven't gained huge amounts. Bad news - I am still exactly where I have been for like 100 years, I am sure. I have had more restriction recently. Let's just say I suspect that is due to stress.<br />
<br />
I am also frustrated with my surgeon. The last time I went for a fill was the first time they'd seen a slight gain. Again - I was just about where I am now which is where I feel like I've been since surgery. But, anywhoo...a thousand moments of blaming me and I'm not eating right and I'm not exercising and I'm not doing it right is what I heard. Part of that, I am sure, is my own guilt. But I think I expected more support from them. I don't know. Anyway, I have avoided a fill since then because I just don't want to deal. Let's be real...I haven't done my best. So, here I sit.<br />
<br />
<strong>Life.</strong><br />
Where to start. I'm not sure I am comfy with putting all the dirty details here. But I'm putting quite a few out there because I need to. What I am good with saying are a few things.<br />
<ul><li>I love my husband. He will always have a piece of my heart. I fell in love with him because he cares about people and wants to be helpful. He wants to teach me things. </li>
<li>He has a pretty deep past of "stuff". Stuff he hasn't dealt with, stuff that is deep in his family and history and previous relationships. </li>
<li>He has avoided counseling. He has started counseling and quit as soon as they got to the "stuff". </li>
<li>I believe that not dealing with "stuff" has an effect on every part of our lives.</li>
</ul><br />
We met 6 years ago. We were engaged within 5 months of meeting, but didn't get married for nearly 3 years after getting engaged. We were actually supposed to get married within 1.5 years. But, a little less than a year after we got engaged, he and I were struggling a little and when I backed off a bit to figure me and my feelings out, he threatened to kill himself. Like had the shotgun and all. My dad is a therapist (see philosophy of everyone has "stuff" above). I was with him when I got the cal. My dad called the police for me. That was Labor Day '06. He went to the hospital for the weekend, got out, went to outpatient group and counseling for a while. We got ourselves back together. He felt better. He quit counseling and meds and all. <br />
<br />
Those of you who have experienced it for yourselves - or with others probably know already. Depression isn't something you just handle yourself. Meds aren't for you to control yourself. Especially if you aren't the Doc. <br />
<br />
Anyway - we continue the pattern of in and out of depression for a while, but mostly good. We get married in Nov of '08. Still argue. Sometimes ugly. But, we move forward and do ok on the other end.<br />
<br />
He is in and out of jobs. He starts college for HVAC and is feeling good - he likes it. He works under a grant for his professor. Steady work he enjoys.<br />
<br />
Grant disappears. He gets job with a company almost immediately. He gets overly enthusiastic. They let him go 60 days later - saying he is too anxious about learning and getting out on his own.<br />
<br />
Welcome back depression.<br />
<br />
Oh...and as a side note - we sold the guns from the day of suicidal threat. This just mentioned company supposedly makes him buy one and get a concealed carry permit because guys are getting robbed.<br />
<br />
We go on vacation at the end of June. Yeah - 4 weeks ago end of June. <br />
He spends every evening in a central lounge, supposedly, watching TV and thinking and trying to get himself "better".<br />
He fights with me over little stuff.<br />
<br />
Basically, it was a miserable week. Luckily, we were there with my family, so it wasn't as bad as it could be. <br />
<br />
We get home - and I start to discover a long list of lies. Literally from the time we drive home through the 1st week home, nearly everything he told me was a lie. I suspect he is cheating on me. He claims that she is a long time friend 10+ years - although I have never heard him speak of her. He claims they aren't sleeping together. I claim that sharing that much time and intimate detail is just as hurtful, if not more. I don't believe him anyways.<br />
<br />
We go through the week, making plans without each other, me not sure what I am supposed to do. He refuses to see the counselor with me that we saw one time right before we left. <br />
<br />
Then it's 4th of July. We have a decent afternoon together. We defrost our freezer - without a cross word. I plan to make dinner for us and rent some movies. Let's see if we can just handle being together with limited discussion.<br />
<br />
He gets a call at 5pm, takes it outside and suddenly leaves to "wash his car". 2 hours later, he rolls home. I am visibly upset. 1 - did something happen to him. 2 - I know he was with her.<br />
<br />
He denies it. We fight. Dinner gets put away raw. I go to pack to leave for the night. He gets upset that I am leaving. He locks the door. He grabs my arms behind me and holds me - grabs my cell phone, tries to get my keys. <br />
<br />
I ask where the gun is. The one he had had out earlier. He looks at me, says "in the kitchen. I'm going to go get it and kill myself." He leaves me and I take my chance to run. As I open the door to leave, I look back and he is at the door from the kitchen to the living room and the gun is directed towards me.<br />
<br />
I ran to call the police at the neighbors. He leaves, supposedly throws the gun in the river, comes back, police talk to him. He ends up in jail for the night. I get at protective order the next morning.<br />
<br />
I filed for divorce last week.<br />
<br />
I am still a mess at any given point. I do love him. I also know I can't do this anymore. I can't watch him not getting help he needs or be the excuse for not getting help or whatever.<br />
<br />
But I never thought I'd divorce. I never thought I'd divorce someone I love. I never thought we'd end up here.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
So...my band has restriction. Bitch band. That's what it freakin' took?<br />
<br />
:)<br />
<br />
I need to be back to blogging. I am lonely at times. I am struggling with my emotions and feelings and thoughts. Excuse me over the next however long as I randomly go through life and spew it all out on this blog.<br />
<br />
What I do know is that I am surrounded by amazing family and friends and you all. And everyone so far has been supportive, despite their anger and fear and sadness for me. I am blessed. What i also know is that I refuse to be angry and bitter during this. I just can't spend my energy there. It takes too much from me.<br />
<br />
There you have it.<br />
<br />
I promise you'll see me more. <br />
<br />
Until later!Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-82995062911465544512011-02-16T21:24:00.001-05:002011-02-16T21:24:21.730-05:00Thank you.Thank you for you support and encouragement and everything. It feels good to be refocused. One day at a time.<br />
<br />
One day at a time.Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-57612059812991578632011-02-16T09:53:00.000-05:002011-02-16T09:53:33.090-05:00I'm back.I have taken a long break from this blog. I didn't mean to - I didn't say, ok, walk away for like 6 weeks. But, time goes by and it happens.<br />
<br />
As I mentioned in my last post, I have been struggling. Let's look at the ways in which I have struggled:<br />
<ul><li>I have been working late and DH went back to school - so many nights I've been grabbing fast food. Fries, burger, Coke. The real thing.</li>
<li>I have been munching my way through the afternoons. A few M&Ms here and a few too many pretzels there...and boom. Munch munch munch.</li>
<li>I have been making excuses to not exercise at all. A 1001 excuses. Umm, hello treadmill we just bought and put in our basement - no reason to avoid you.</li>
<li>I am tired of feeling like I constantly have to think about food - what will I eat next, what is healthy, what has enough protein, when can I drink, what can I drink.</li>
<li>I am stuck - hard core stuck - waivering around 261. Just hanging there taunting me day in and day out. No movement. I wonder why.</li>
</ul>So...yesterday I went for a fill. I was up technically 3 pounds since my last fill. They had me at 259 in Jan and 261 yesterday. Again - taunting me. The NP wasn't thrilled. I felt guilty and bad for not doing all the things good bandsters do. I hate that. Have you been eating enough? Have you been eating the right things? What do you think is going on? Are your drinking with your meals?<br />
<br />
Here's the thing. We have lap bands. In order to get to this place, we have been heavy for a while. We have tried every trick, every diet, every hope. We know what we are supposed to do. We also know how to cheat.<br />
<br />
And therein lies my problem. I cheat. Oh...I'll stop and get a burger and fried tonight, but tomorrow, I SWARE I'll eat at home and have a salad and grilled chicken.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow comes. The salad and grilled chicken don't.<br />
<br />
Now...part of me wants to blame my band. It isn't tight enough. I don't feel restriction. I can eat a burger. On a bun. With fries.<br />
<br />
But, really, it's me.<br />
<br />
I need to do better. I need to make good choices. I need to make better choices. I need to do the best thing for me. <br />
<br />
And I need to get past the rewarding I do for myself. <br />
<br />
You know - "oh, it was such a hard day at work". "oh, DH won't be home and I hate to make a huge mess in the kitchen over food for just me". "oh, you ate well all day, you'll be fine with a little treat".<br />
<br />
Ummm, hello, Paige. This is how you got to this point. If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten.<br />
<br />
Just sayin'.<br />
<br />
So...a fill. I'm now at 5cc in my little band. I actually felt satisfied with some soup after the fill and then just jello last night. I just finished a banana and some yogurt this morning. I am planning on yogurt, pudding, soup of the rest of the day. Following liquid rules. Maybe tonight I'll have some refried beans and cheese.<br />
<br />
I also am going to start really planning out my day and going with it. I am going to be stuck at 260 forever if I don't. <br />
<br />
I even got up and walked this morning. Thank you to my dogs who decided that 5:30am was the time to let us know that they wanted out of crates and up on the bed. Ugh. But I walked.<br />
<br />
And I want to run. I want to be a runner. I want to get past week one of Couch25K.<br />
<br />
And I want to be down in the 220s by July. We go on vacation at the end of June and I have a high school reunion this summer and I want to feel good.<br />
<br />
Soooooo...there you have it. Where I've been, where I want to go.<br />
<br />
Speaking of where I want to go...who is planning to go to BOOBs in September??? Anyone want to talk about being roommates?? I love Chicago....<br />
<br />
OK. I sware I'll be back...sooner than this last time. Hopefully not longer than a day or 2 from here on out. I missed you all. I jsut needed to wallow, it appears.<br />
<br />
love you all!Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-58774640488088088922011-01-12T15:56:00.000-05:002011-01-12T15:56:55.606-05:00Struggling.I've been missing for almost 2 weeks from here. I have been struggling.<br />
<br />
I got my fill on the 29th of Dec. I felt a little restriction, but not tons. <br />
<br />
I've been eating whatever I want since then.<br />
<br />
I suspect there are people out there who would say that this is about eating, not depriving...you should be able to eat whatever if you want it - IN MODERATION. Well, I've been eating less than once upon a time, but still more than I should and very rarely the stuff that is good for me.<br />
<br />
I am struggling.<br />
<br />
I want to do this. I want to make good choices. I am still in my old head and habits and those haven't changed. Which explains my lack of weight loss over these almost 4 months.<br />
<br />
I feel a little lost. Maybe not lost.... I'm perhaps lacking confidence.... Maybe it's motivation. Although, I WANT to do well. When faced with choices, I choose the old way, the stuff that isn't good and the amounts that are more than necessary.<br />
<br />
I thought I'd try the 5 day pouch test. Yeah. By 5pm I was so ravenous that I ate every snack food I had randomly in my office. So much for all liquids that day. And I had done well - a really well protein packed shake for breakfast, protein heavy soup for lunch, a protein drink for a snack....50-60 grams of protein by that point.<br />
<br />
Of course we all know what goes with all of this...the feeling of failure. I never have done it before, so of course I can't do it now. I'll be the only bandster in the blog world who fails at this. I can't do anything right. Blah blah blah. Of course, deep down, I don't believe this. However, the negative track runs through my head every so often and certainly doesn't help.<br />
<br />
I needed to just get this all out there. I am open to suggestions. I keep thinking that tomorrow I will wake up and start again. But...it hasn't happened that way yet. I keep thinking and debating and reading and looking for some answers. I have faith. <br />
<br />
But I'm struggling. Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-9560090504746147272010-12-29T10:18:00.000-05:002010-12-29T10:18:27.645-05:003rd fill!Hope everyone is doing well and surviving the last week of the year!<br />
<br />
Christmas went well. Spent as little time as possible with in-laws. We were due snow, I asked DH to ask MIL to move dinner to lunch so we could get in and out of town before. I didn't eat breakfast, got there and she had decided to not move dinner, just make a cheeseball and let us eat candy. Cheeseball, crackers, and candy. Now, mind you - all good stuff. Not a meal. Just the kind of thing I am trying to avoid. So...good times.<br />
<br />
Otherwise, it was great. DH spoiled me more than I deserved and it was great spending time with my nieces and nephew. DH and I also had most of Christmas afternoon and night to ourselves, so we watched all 3 Toy Story movies, marathon style. Perfect way to spend the day!!<br />
<br />
I am feeling better, mostly. I am on day 9 of 10 of antibiotics. I am still waking with post nasal drip. I'm a little over that, but otherwise, I feel better overall.<br />
<br />
I went in for my 3rd fill today. I'm up to 4.5cc in the band. I weighed in there, with clothes on, obviously, at 257. They think that's great. I don't think so much. I think the weight they had for me for the last time either wasn't recorded or it was me with my coat on or something. They had me at 264. Maybe that is what I was at Thanksgiving....I have to go back and check it out. Anyway, I met with the nutritionist. Do you all have access to a nutritionist whenever you go for fills? Anyway, this one is the one I have liked from day one - she is kind and supportive and actually has realistic suggestions. The other one once told me I should just bring my own frozen meal or whatever into the lunch meetings at work. Where I'm trying to stay on the down-low on what I did. sure. Everyone else is eating pizza or Panera. And the fat girl brings in a WW meal or a turkey sandwich of her own. Very inconspicuous. and very doable. That would make me feel great.<br />
<br />
Anyway....today I met with the good one and am getting refocused on the basics. 60-70g of protein and 64-80oz of H20. Veggies and fruits as part of my snacks and meals, in a small way. Up exercise to 4 x per week. 4 basics to get back to. Also, I am getting back to planning our meals out. We have gotten lazy and really the holidays are hard. There is always some meal, some something to go to with food. I rarely needed to cook. We had leftovers from outings and leftovers from meals at work and so on and so forth. So back to meal planning. Back to bringing good solid lunches to work. Back to making good breakfast choices.<br />
<br />
It's the New Year. I always have high hopes for the new year. However, this year, it's different. Last year, I thought that I could do this by myself. This year, I have a buddy - my band. I need a name for it. This year, I know I have the tools to make good choices. This year, I want to start trying to have kids. I want to get down below 200 so that I feel healthy enough to be pregnant and actually get pregnant. 2011 holds a lot of promise.<br />
<br />
I stopped on the way to work from my fill at Trader Joe's to get a protein drink, as I didn't plan well and leave with one this morning. I picked up the Protein with Pizazz ready-to-drink drink out of the fridge case. Tasty. I recommend it for a quick grab in a desperate moment. a little chalky, but good banana and apple flavor to it. almost 2 servings in a bottle (really? Just put .8 more oz in the bottle, people) and 16g of protein.<br />
<br />
Until later...Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-22571718990088163222010-12-22T20:03:00.000-05:002010-12-22T20:03:30.530-05:00Sinus Infection. Blah.Hey all!!<br />
<br />
I've been fighting congestion basically since Thanksgiving. Finally got a little worse over the weekend and went to the Dr yesterday. Sinus infection. So, on drugs and feeling a little better already.<br />
<br />
But struggling with eating or drinking enough. Just feel blah. How do you all do when you are sick? <br />
<br />
Oh and not helpful to have snacks and cookies around right now. I stayed home. I may or may not have snacked a little today too. However, not much, in the whole scheme of things. One cookie and 2 handfuls of chex mix. <br />
<br />
I just want to feel better before the weekend.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow we are taking my nieces to see The Nutcracker. Can't wait!! They are so excited. And a granddaughter of my parents' best friends is one of the children in it. So...even more exciting!<br />
<br />
MIL guilted DH into going to her house for Christmas Eve. Boo. I just think it's a bad idea. But, he wants to make her happy - don't we all just want our parents happy? Anyway, I have been secretly praying for the snow we are supposed to get - and now might not get. I need it. Just long enough for us to not go, but then to stop so everyone else can do what they need to for the holidays. : ) DH passed his journeyman's test this week. We both posted it on FB separately. All kinds of people congratulated him on mine. A handful on his. None of his family. Not even his sister or nieces. Drives me crazy. Completely crazy. <br />
<br />
*oohhmmm* *channeling some peace*<br />
<br />
Gifts are all bought and wrapped. Cards did not get sent out, but I think I am going to send them after Christmas. I don't know. Haven't decided. Everything baked. Ready to enjoy the holidays. Working on some plans for NYE. So things are good.<br />
<br />
I'm getting a fill next week. I'm able to eat a decent amount beyond a cup at any one sitting. Not starving between meals, but still not feeling restricted at all. DH went today for his - he is barely drinking. I think he might have over done it...but we'll see and I'll let him decide. :) You all know how that works. Love him. Stubborn and all.<br />
<br />
OK...should be able to jump back on for a bit in the next few days, but in case you all aren't around, have the Merriest of Christmases, if that's what you celebrate. If not, have a peaceful weekend!!<br />
<br />
Until laterPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-33939351580882777362010-12-16T07:58:00.001-05:002010-12-16T07:58:19.699-05:00Snow, days off, InlawsHey all!<br />
<br />
Gosh it's crazy how the holiday season just kinda takes over. I have today and tomorrow off. I needed them.<br />
<br />
I work in HR and about this time of year, I get really tired of people. We are a good company, we offer some pretty fantastic benefits, we do a lot of nice things for our employees. This year for holiday luncheons we stayed onsite (easiest to do with a new shift set-up and 450 employees) and catered in a nice meal from a local famous ribs place. Ribs, chicken, salad and these chips they are known for - along with ice cream sandwiches from a local famous ice cream place. <br />
<br />
I can't tell you how many "can I order something different"s I got. When I was standing with the free pop - choices were coke, diet c, sprite and diet mt dew, I got no less than 5 "do you have xyz pop?" Really people? Free meal. Good meal. Free drink. Oh, you're welcome. <br />
<br />
BTW, out of 450 employees, I only had to say you're welcome 5 times. No other thank yous.<br />
<br />
Sigh. <br />
<br />
And a bunch of other "give me mores" that happened this week. So, I'm done with being a people person for a few days.<br />
<br />
We got about 5 inches of snow last night. I'm glad to not have to go out in it until later. I'm getting my nails done - trying this new Shellac treatment - supposedly stays crack and chip free for 2 weeks. We'll see!!<br />
<br />
I'm also doing my annual baking. I give away cookies plus host an annual cookie exchange. The good thing is that mostly, I stay away from eating most of it. I just like making and giving.<br />
<br />
And I've had ongoing in-law drama. I grew up watching my parents friends struggle with daughter and son in laws and always thought, "not me...I'm going to be a great daughter in law". I'm sad that it isn't turning out that way. Without a ton of details, DHs family is just so different in terms of respect and appreciation and tolerance for one another. It is nothing for the aunts (MIL is one of 6 sisters) to bash my DH or talk negatively about him. DH has not always been a great person. He is big - has been all of his life. I'm pretty sure that when he feels attacked or uncomfortable, he goes back to the 10 yo being bullied on the playground and does the only thing he knows how - fights. Not so much physcially now, but emotionally and verbally. Anyway, I expect the aunts to be the bigger people and not pick at DH, but they do. And so does MIL on some level, I am finally seeing. But...the story everyone always tells is how mean DH is. No one mentions or remembers that they picked at him first or were mean too.... Anyway - it just wears me out. I haven't gotten a therapist, like I wanted to after the surgery. Now I really think I need to. I just get so upset for DH and for how horrible his whole family situation is. I need to figure out how to better cope with them. Luckily, DH decided we aren't going to MILs on Christmas Eve. So this weekend we'll make a brief visit to the extended family gathering, see his niece and sister and then move on to more fun events.<br />
<br />
Blah.<br />
<br />
I just needed to get it all out. Not much about food or band or that stuff. Sorry. But it feels good to just get it out there. <br />
<br />
I'm going to weigh in in a bit on my home scale for my weekly. <br />
<br />
Until later....Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-72976926527878317132010-12-09T14:20:00.000-05:002010-12-09T14:20:39.256-05:003 lbs down!I must have had a scale that wasn't quite awake this morning. My official weigh in had me down 3 lbs to 255.2. I'm good with that. Would have loved the other. But, it's all good. Still moving in the right direction.<br />
<br />
I hope you are all having a good Thursday!!! Here comes the weekend.Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-65200326492863387832010-12-09T08:04:00.000-05:002010-12-09T08:04:26.749-05:00A Giveaway and Freaking Outok - first things first.<br />
<br />
Over at <a href="http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2010/12/taste-of-torani-holiday-giveaway.html">The World According to Eggface</a>, she is giving away 4 bottles of yummy holiday flavored Torani Syrups. I am finding that adding SF syrups to my protein shakes TOTALLY makes them managable. And it allows me to have some good flavors without 1000 kinds of protein powder. I'm so excited too because it includes the new SF Salted Caramel syrup. Hello??? yummo!! I love me so salted caramel hot chocolate - so this would let me have the great flavor - without the cost or the calories. So...run over <a href="http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2010/12/taste-of-torani-holiday-giveaway.html">there</a> and enter to win because it would be almost as fun if one of you won!!! : )<br />
<br />
Now, for the freaking out segment.<br />
<br />
I got on the home scale this morning. 247.8. <br />
<br />
I am trying desperately to keep peeing and getting the weight to stay just like that until 12:30 when I have my official weigh in at work. eek. As part of the weightw@tchers thing - this would put me past 10%. Heck, in regular life,t his would give me more than 10% lost. I really want to see it today because i don't have another meeting until January - because they are at work meetings.<br />
<br />
Eeeek. Think light thoughts for me today.Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-50714521336141634452010-12-06T06:38:00.000-05:002010-12-06T06:38:15.328-05:00Blogger Picture error and Christmas<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF3BZKXMMmYTh7Z-jertXf3v2A1eRvMcV7mTxpq35cCPDNMCzL4ntrEFCSUzcx51vYAndTEjWB7ClUKDZinvXmKldUHqmtf_RFlGaQgSGeCsIE5jdZSTJhVRf3UaGYqOafu1ab5ndA2kg/s1600/2010+tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF3BZKXMMmYTh7Z-jertXf3v2A1eRvMcV7mTxpq35cCPDNMCzL4ntrEFCSUzcx51vYAndTEjWB7ClUKDZinvXmKldUHqmtf_RFlGaQgSGeCsIE5jdZSTJhVRf3UaGYqOafu1ab5ndA2kg/s320/2010+tree.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Seriously. turn your head to the left so you can look at my tree. It is saved on my hard drive correctly. It is up and down and normal. When it comes over here, not so much. and I've worked on it. And it didn't help. So...no, I don't hang my tree on the wall. I just gave up the frustration. <br />
<br />
But I love our tree this year.<br />
<br />
<br />
and these are our holiday plates/china. I love that they are wintery enough that I don't have to put them away as soon as Christmas is over. I usually keep them out until about Valentine's Day. They are discontinued. One day, I'd like to have more glasses that go with them. Right now I only have 2.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-IYgCf7Ci9eMZVQzY6uvzie6SY06z_Pz42EtrOcEhBOtodbPG-nXcSZLJh0ehr5dO-U4-CzcrKpSrkQDeTVEf0Kg4RQjeF-mEiXEXtaRKBXLlKmM5Wh6aT5NbVWWPCYDv9muaSCy5S-s/s1600/plate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-IYgCf7Ci9eMZVQzY6uvzie6SY06z_Pz42EtrOcEhBOtodbPG-nXcSZLJh0ehr5dO-U4-CzcrKpSrkQDeTVEf0Kg4RQjeF-mEiXEXtaRKBXLlKmM5Wh6aT5NbVWWPCYDv9muaSCy5S-s/s320/plate.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Decorating makes me happy once it's done, but gosh is it a pain to get done!!<br />
<br />
Have a great week everyone!!Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-60232937058149742352010-12-05T08:50:00.000-05:002010-12-05T08:50:12.767-05:00What in the world??? And holiday spirit....I just did my Sunday morning weigh in for the Holiday Challenge. <br />
<br />
249.6<br />
<br />
Really???<br />
<br />
Everyone look at me. I'm in the 240s. And look quick...I'm about to be seeing TOM so I'm not sure it will last that long. I certainly hope so though!! I mean, hello motivation!!! Since my official weigh in day is Thursday, I'm not moving the ticker yet...but I'm liking this twice a week weigh in to see how I move from days to days.<br />
<br />
I'm going to get out some of my older WeightW@tchers stuff later and see if I can figure out when I last saw the 240s. <br />
<br />
Speaking of the W meantioned above, did you hear they have a new program? I learned all about it this week. Guess what??? They finally did what I had been most struggling with them about since I joined up right before my surgery. They added in counting protein to the program! They now take protein, fiber, carbs and fat into account to figure their point system. It makes me so happy to finally have them coinside with what I needed to be counting anyway. I am finding this week that I am actually using their system instead of half assing my way with theirs. And as we knowing, tracking only helps. So....we'll see. I think I enjoy my work group rather than the WLS support group that only meets monthly and doesn't really get past any of the basics. I'm finding between other blogs...and at work meetings...and my DH that I am having a good amount of support. <br />
<br />
Speaking of good support....how fun is it that I finally discovered a fellow bandster blogster in my general area?? Weeeee!! Fun to know someone in town. I love the blogging community!!<br />
<br />
Let's see, what else. We got a bit of snbow yesterday - perfet kind of snow. The ground was still warm, so it didn't stick much to the driveways and sidewalks, so no shovelling, but accumulated on the ground, so pretty to look at. And on a Saturday where there wasn't much need to go places. DH and I got our tree last night - in the snow from a little lot I had heard about. Such beautiful tree - felt like a little scene in a movie. Like the tree getting scene in When Harry Met Sally? Although we don't live in the big city, so we promptly tied it to the top of my car and drove it home rather than walking it home. We put lights on last night...and the ornaments will come after church today. Then the rest of the decorating happens. I am going to get my Christmas plates out and replace our everyday plates with them for the season, so we can have a little more holiday spirit. We haven't used them the last 2 years. 2 years ago, we had just gotten married and I had just replaced old plates with our wedding gift plates. And last year I just didn't feel the spirit. This year...I'm doing it.<br />
<br />
Do you all have Christmas plates? What kinds of things do you look forward to bringing out? Linda from <a href="http://lindasbandwidth.blogspot.com/">Linda's Bandwith</a> challenged everyone to post pictures of the things making people feel the spirit, so I look forward to posting pictures later here for me and seeing everyone else's!!<br />
<br />
Talk to you all later!!Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-80666755482075993222010-12-02T13:53:00.000-05:002010-12-02T13:53:43.245-05:00Hi from the 250s!!Those of you who have been around a while know I have been waiting for this, for forever. I officially weighed in at 258.6 today. Hello from 250s!!<br />
<br />
I have been hovering around there for a few days, so I am feeling like this one is going to stick for a while!!<br />
<br />
More later...just sharing my excitement!Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-20620370245820126862010-11-30T09:19:00.000-05:002010-11-30T09:19:02.805-05:00Great Online Sale - Tuesday Only!Hi all!<br />
<br />
Just came across a great sale to share with you all. No-Nonsense is having a great sale online today (extending cyberMonday). 50% off everything and free shipping. There isn't a ton of plus sized stuff....but there is some XL stuff. I didn't look at hose and tights...not sure what the size situation is there. But PJs, scarfs, undies, socks....all sorts of stuff that we all hate to pay a lot for, but that we might go through fairly fast these days as we change sizes.<br />
<br />
Or if you are doing shopping for others you might find some deals.<br />
<br />
Here's the<a href="http://nononsense.com/shop.aspx"> link</a>Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-88290083145657578002010-11-28T10:24:00.000-05:002010-11-28T10:24:00.695-05:00Thanksgiving loss???This is something new for me. It appears that I might have lost weight over the Thanksgiving weekend. I weighed in for the challenge this morning at 256.8. I have been hanging on in the 257ish range for the last 36 hours or so...so 250s might finally be here.<br />
<br />
I love my band!<br />
<br />
I really didn't overdo it much. I had 1/2 of a slice of 2 different pies. I had spoonfuls of green bean casserole and mashed potatoes and brussel sprouts. I had like an ounce or 2 of turkey and a roll that my husband couldn't eat because he was getting stuck. He is really officially done with bread. considering my past years of Thanksgiving, I think what I ate wasn't too bad. I am now dealing with leftovers. Turkey and ham....lots of it. I have to figure out what I am going to make with it all. I think I'm going to do a ham and cheese and broccoli quiche - protein and veg. I made some little ham and swiss sammies. Tonight we are mixing things up and having sloppy joes made with ground turkey that DH just bought before he made me a ham and cheese omelet this morning. My cranberry and cherry sauce was yummy and I've been snacking on a spoonful at a time of that when I need a little something sweet.<br />
<br />
I have really just sat around for the last 2 days. MIL left on Friday at noon and I just have been taking in some peace and quiet. I like having her around. I like having a little peace too. So, it's been good. Today, we hope to finish putting away our lawn furniture and such for the winter. I also plan on going for a walk. I think I am even going to start again with C25K and see if I can at least start moving through it. I don't mind if I even have to do each week twice.... I just need a goal.<br />
<br />
Enough rambling.<br />
<br />
Have a wonderful end to your weekends!!<br />
<br />
Until later....Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-74837820117595847772010-11-25T07:26:00.000-05:002010-11-25T07:26:31.562-05:00Thanksgiving!!Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who is celebrating! I hope you all have wonderful, fun-filled days full of good decisions and knowing what is best to chose to eat and not getting stuck. <br />
<br />
DH and I went yesterday for fills. I'm up to 4ccs and he is up to 7. He is feeling a ton of restriction. I'm not so much yet - but I'm still on liquids. I've actually been really hungry since then, but am trying to stick to liquids until dinner tonight when I'll have mostly mushies and a taste of turkey. I hope he finds more comfort in drinking liquids over the course of the day - or else it's going to be a long day/weekend!!<br />
<br />
I am thankful for so many things. Getting healthier, having a warm home and so much food that it's ridiculous, having a wonderful husband and a great family - and even for being able to have both my family and my in-laws for Thanksgiving at the same time.<br />
<br />
May you also know all the ways in which you are blessed today as well!!Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-24746695200492413042010-11-18T19:42:00.000-05:002010-11-18T19:42:53.251-05:00Something's got to give.I'm back up .8. Seriously.<br />
<br />
Tired of it.<br />
<br />
Hoping for the fill to work a miracle. Also, going to work even harder on eating the right things for the next 6 days leading up to the fill. Just looking for a little 250s love. Good news - I have a whole history from my weigh in book to show them at the doctor. They didn't officially weigh me the day of my first fill - just took my word for the weight. So I have proof that I've been in the same 3 pounds since one week after surgery.<br />
<br />
I'm feeling inspiration by reading what everyone typically eats. I even decided to set up "appointments" in outlook calendar at work to remind me to go for a walk and get some steps - and drink some water. Hoping that helps a little with that side of things.<br />
<br />
You are all so sweet with your comments. LOL at my boobs getting smaller - DH has already noticed that. I'm ready for that, truth be told. I did wear a pair of jeans today that have always been a little big, but now really are falling down. Time to focus on other pairs. I'm kinda in between with other clothes though, having not lost enough to move out of them. So, we'll keep hanging on.<br />
<br />
Thanksgiving dinner count - up to 18 people. Not sure where everyone will sit.<br />
<br />
You are all wonderful. Thanks again for the encouragement and comments on the pictures! I'm so lucky.Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-42724984594564652782010-11-17T19:55:00.000-05:002010-11-17T19:55:30.497-05:002 months post-opSo, I thought I'd share a some before and now pictures for my 2 month bandiversary, which was yesterday. Better late than never. I actually had my DH home tonight to try and take pics in the same place we took them the night before the surgery. In some ways I can see differences and in some I can't. I will preface with the fact that clearly we were dealing with the night before surgery and I had worked long hours leading up to that as I didn't know how long I'd be out. They are true "before" pics! Also, I have had a good haircut and color with a shade lighter since then. I notice it as a huge difference but can now see why most people just know "something is different" but aren't quite sure. I think the darker, new color might be the one to stick with when I am not tan. <br />
<br />
Ok...enough pointing out the flaws.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_3R9c1sn7BL7K2FN8ex6jNT8sOZFqZaMYVc9KA-khiJlS0aKakDm_T-6ou0rGbp1PJ5TwVfOWxL7mJ-9YFS7lfb0ofqRip6hN_1atJ6MEqphQUU-9TShEuylJXCtZGO99m9Ul6-sT9RE/s1600/Front+before+and+during+11-17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_3R9c1sn7BL7K2FN8ex6jNT8sOZFqZaMYVc9KA-khiJlS0aKakDm_T-6ou0rGbp1PJ5TwVfOWxL7mJ-9YFS7lfb0ofqRip6hN_1atJ6MEqphQUU-9TShEuylJXCtZGO99m9Ul6-sT9RE/s320/Front+before+and+during+11-17.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>I'm clearly happier. : ) However, I can also tell the shirt is looser. When I put on my shorts tonight, I could also feel a difference.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7hK09P1F113ZfeFejhacgpcZQ80LLB1eEQYZuVliMF6YiYJE75O8kVcQ18nAaxoido4HDeGTN1g5Cu7XVD7ocdjB41Tlr0oW0l3EUXBZM_yUqWE13TMTjx8SqCU77PX3Wsa6gJX0WW40/s1600/before+and+during+side+11-17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="294" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7hK09P1F113ZfeFejhacgpcZQ80LLB1eEQYZuVliMF6YiYJE75O8kVcQ18nAaxoido4HDeGTN1g5Cu7XVD7ocdjB41Tlr0oW0l3EUXBZM_yUqWE13TMTjx8SqCU77PX3Wsa6gJX0WW40/s320/before+and+during+side+11-17.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Not quite as pregnant. Not quite as pulling, although I think I have a different bra on. : )<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjudNN1EYaj8TIFx4QOfJR0_EUbnIx0XBbTb_afFj8AT-NEYLmuDVKnqBGQZ3hGYe83ELePyznE5gIm98xZ0GQezlj_WQhHJFbudHln070uOnt3mAFKzcIB3ZyJI6RFocbmxPmjGqYG-tE/s1600/face+before+and+during+11-17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="294" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjudNN1EYaj8TIFx4QOfJR0_EUbnIx0XBbTb_afFj8AT-NEYLmuDVKnqBGQZ3hGYe83ELePyznE5gIm98xZ0GQezlj_WQhHJFbudHln070uOnt3mAFKzcIB3ZyJI6RFocbmxPmjGqYG-tE/s320/face+before+and+during+11-17.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>Here is where I see the most difference. First with the hair. Then also with my cheeks a little. We'll see. I know as I lose, it will be more dramatic.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow is weigh in day. I have walked 4 times. I have been trying with the water. Today I had a huge NSV. We have quarterly meetings that I have to attend. The person running them always orders from a great pizza place. This morning I asked him to get me a salad, as they also have great salads. I had a salad and just 1 piece of pizza. Huge difference from months ago when I'd be going for 4 -5 pieces over the course of the meeting. This morning's peak had me below 260, we'll see if it holds out. I am going to down a ton of water before I go to bed in about 2 hours so hopefully by morning I am flushing the rest of the salt from the pizza out of the system.<br />
<br />
MIL comes next week for Thanksgiving. She and I get along. I don't always agree with her ways. I don't believe she takes care of herself. But...for the most part, it's fine. She is bringing so much flippin' food to make for Thanksgiving. Here is the problem. I am hosting both DH's mother and sister and nieces, but also my parents, sister and BIL and nieces and nephew. 14 people total. Both sides have their own traditional foods - so we'll be making basically 2 dinners worth of food. For all of these people. I love love love cooking. I'm not sure how I'm going to do a ham and a turkey and all of the other stuff in my kitchen though. Eeek...good planning, good planning.<br />
<br />
: )<br />
<br />
And I'm having a fill the day before Thanksgiving, so hopefully that helps with the whole control piece. <br />
<br />
How are you all anticipating Thanksgiving and handling it?Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-16698376562008678842010-11-13T10:23:00.000-05:002010-11-13T10:23:42.517-05:00peek-a-booMy daily peek on the scale this morning showed 257.something.<br />
<br />
*knocking on wood* hope it stays!!<br />
<br />
Already went for a walk this morning - and now some intense house cleaning!! <br />
<br />
It's beautiful here - supposed to get up to 72. I have the windows open and am enjoying what willmost likely be my last taste of warmer weather for a few months!<br />
<br />
Have great Saturdays, everyone!!Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-29872758301955983482010-11-12T07:24:00.000-05:002010-11-12T07:24:33.575-05:00Update - and incredible protein shake!!Thank you again for the encouragement. It's really just amazing - as you all know!<br />
<br />
- I called the dr office. I have a fill scheduled the day before Thanksgiving. I will take myself off of mushies about 30 hours later. But, will probably eat a saucer full of food.<br />
<br />
- Really, turkey is about the only non-mushy we will have, I think, that I care about. <br />
<br />
- I saw 259 on my scale this morning. Shhh - don't tell anyone. I don't want to jinx it.<br />
<br />
- In my attempt to plan meals, I have decided to alternate breakfast between a protein shake and oatmeal with some protein powder added. This morning I made<a href="http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/2010/10/day-in-my-pouch-weekend-wrap-up.html"> this shake </a>- <b><i>apple pie protein shake!!!</i></b> Soooo good. Definitely a good fall flavor! I am using the splurge Starbux Cinnamon Dolce SF syrup I bought and have been hoarding. Tasty!!<br />
<br />
- Happy Friday all!!Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-52627437795469447832010-11-11T14:30:00.000-05:002010-11-11T14:30:43.325-05:00Weigh in...and support.Thank you to those who have commented so far on my morning post. I am going to call shortly and see if I can get in for the week of the 29th. That will be almost 5 weeks out. I am guessing they might not do one Thanksgiving Week because they are pretty particular about wanting to be open after you get your fill so you don't end up in an ER with people who don't know what they are doing. And they only do fills on Tues and Wed for that reason. We'll see!!<br />
<br />
I weighed in. I ate some chili before I weighed in, even. My boss was eating, my other eating partners were in a different meeting. So I decided to just do it. I don't think in 25 years of dieting that I have eaten right before a weigh in. :) Anyways....I was down 1.2! Glad to see 260.2 - my lowest yet. However, I am freaking tired of the 260s. Sooo soo ready for the next decade.<br />
<br />
I put together my meal plan for the next week while in my weight <a href="mailto:w@tchers">w@tchers</a> meeting. So, now to just follow along and do this. <br />
<br />
One day and one week at a time.<br />
<br />
until later!Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-92129900539693113522010-11-11T08:42:00.000-05:002010-11-11T08:42:20.141-05:00My next fill?OK...so it's been a little over 2 weeks since my first fill. I'm not feeling tons of restriction - at least not anything more than I felt when I had just had my surgery. My weight loss is holding steady - not lost more than I had since the surgery.<br />
<br />
At what point do I just call and get another fill?<br />
<br />
Next Tuesday will be 2 months banded. I think I set myself up to think that this whole process would be moving along faster. I read other blogs and think - they are losing and doing this. I see the post from Amy yesterday and think, yup, I'm going to be one of the ones this isn't going to work for. I look at WHAT I am eating and think - the amount is certainly less, but the quality is certainly not 100% there. I am walking - which I never did before. But I'm not walking everyday or even every other day. Somewhere around 2 -3 times a week. I am not drinking enough water. <br />
<br />
I need to kick it into gear. I have had this great opportunity handed to me to get it together and do what needs to happen. I read and saw and knew it wasn't the magic pill - but somehow hoped for a little longer honeymoon period.<br />
<br />
I weigh in later at work. I know - looking at my home scale - that I'm not down. I might be able to flush a little more out, but doubtful in 3 hours. <br />
<br />
Until my next weigh in next week, I'd like to focus on 3 things:<br />
<br />
Walk at least 4 times between now and then.<br />
Drink 80 oz of water a day.<br />
Plan meals with good choices.<br />
<br />
You've gotta have a plan, right?? Any butt kicking and accountability is welcome. :)<br />
<br />
I hope you are all doing well.Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6207177715106190907.post-76629241876235878382010-11-07T16:20:00.000-05:002010-11-07T16:20:46.136-05:00The Holiday Challenge!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqNl3yDBzbaKteAgn4KQJ8sVpykY6KYIZ26o-U4BvKv5jnNbJmEjLMJfsIQCnCphU7p3rDS4WV0DKxUzZJnul96_aoW4uMzSfvpANjXQa829WYGQdeXpTrrqYXkBxeVRZohHRVGmV-j5E/s1600/HolidayChallenge_Large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqNl3yDBzbaKteAgn4KQJ8sVpykY6KYIZ26o-U4BvKv5jnNbJmEjLMJfsIQCnCphU7p3rDS4WV0DKxUzZJnul96_aoW4uMzSfvpANjXQa829WYGQdeXpTrrqYXkBxeVRZohHRVGmV-j5E/s320/HolidayChallenge_Large.jpg" width="184" /></a></div>So today starts the Challenge! I'm so excited. I definitely need this little push to get me going. I think I'm just still in a little bandster hell - not feeling much restriction, although definitely eating less than I did onceuponaTIMEBEFORETHEband. :) I am hoping to up the exercise a little too.<br />
<br />
Speaking of which - so last night DH and I had our anniversary celebration, staying at a local nice hotel, dinner, and a horse drawn carriage ride. We went and checked in and then both went to the workout room. I did the first day of Couch to 5k. I actually ran! For a minute! With a minute and a half between each bit of running! 8 cycles!! 31 minutes of this!! So excited. The last time I tried this, I couldn't do one time. Mostly because (I think) I could barely walk and even just the 20 pounds or so I've lost since the beginning have made the difference! Anyway - good times!! The rest of the night was wonderful Just good to spend time with DH and relax and be away and do fun things together. I didn't do too bad with food. One Cosmo, 5oz fillet with a little blue cheese on it. You know - up the protein. Salad, with dressing on the side. half of the side of mashed potatoes. And dessert. But overall, not bad for a good night out.<br />
<br />
Back to the challenge! I weighed in heavy today - 263.8. Not sure how I feel about that - although I'm glad it's at the beginning. I think I'm getting ready for a period - so I am anticipating a quick loss there. We'll see. At very least, though, I am hoping to get back on track with basics. No pop. More good protein. More Water. More exercise.<br />
<br />
Can you believe it's November???<br />
<br />
Crazy.Phttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14269096544186722185noreply@blogger.com1