I am awfully glad that I wrote about something positive this morning.
I weighed in today and went up 2.1. Blah.
Of course I immediately had all the negative feelings. See - you can't lose weight. Even with a band. You don't know how to do this. You are destined to be fat forever.
I then proceeded to eat a carrot stick too quickly and BAM it was stuck.
Guess I deserved that, band. Touche.
I know I can do this. I know I'm in the world of bandster hell right now where I feel like I can eat and I am still fighting with head hunger and I still have old habits that have been with me forever. It all takes time. And gaining 2.1 still has me 18 under where I was to start with. So....I know I can do this.
But all of those habits come with the habit of talking down to myself and not being sure and confident and quite honestly, the fact that I have indeed not been successful before.
But this is different. this is a tool. I need to start really using it. I need to do the right things.
I have 11 days until my barium swallow and fill. I need to follow the guidelines the office set for me with eating, stick with them for that time and see how it works for me.
Tomorrow is a new day.