Thursday, October 14, 2010

The ups and downs of it all.

I am awfully glad that I wrote about something positive this morning.

I weighed in today and went up 2.1.  Blah.

Of course I immediately had all the negative feelings.  See - you can't lose weight.  Even with a band.  You don't know how to do this.  You are destined to be fat forever. 

I then proceeded to eat a carrot stick too quickly and BAM it was stuck.

Guess I deserved that, band.  Touche.

I know I can do this.  I know I'm in the world of bandster hell right now where I feel like I can eat and I am still fighting with head hunger and I still have old habits that have been with me forever.  It all takes time.  And gaining 2.1 still has me 18 under where I was to start with.  So....I know I can do this.

But all of those habits come with the habit of talking down to myself and not being sure and confident and quite honestly, the fact that I have indeed not been successful before.

But this is different.  this is a tool.  I need to start really using it.  I need to do the right things.

I have 11 days until my barium swallow and fill.  I need to follow the guidelines the office set for me with eating, stick with them for that time and see how it works for me. 

Tomorrow is a new day.


  1. I hope to get my first fill today and I have been stuck on the scales for over a week. No movement. A lb up, a lb down...all based on water. Don't be discouraged...your band isn't adjusted yet! Just get through this phase and once properly adjusted, the weight will melt off. At least that's what I keep telling myself...

  2. I found that looking at the month to month progress of other really successful bandsters in our midst was really helpful to me. Lots of people have very small losses and gains especially in the beggining before they seem to get their feet under them and yet, here they are super successful in the end. You just need to take it one day at a time and do what you know you need to do. The tool will become more and more helpful.

  3. Your feelings mirror my own. I got banded 9/15/2010. The first 10 days the weight dropped off and now its stopped...Logic tells me my body is stabilizing to the shock of surgery and the liquid diet. My mind sometimes taunts me and makes me feel that this is beyond me. I started blogging and it's been wonderful to get support from experienced bandsters who have succeeded. More power to you...looking forward to hearing about your successes.