Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Post Op Appointment

Nothing big to report.  My scars are healing.  My period will go away someday.  I can eat soft foods.

DH got a fill.  He's finally feeling some good restriction.

I made the most wonderful meal to celebrate.  Again with TheWorldAccordingToEggface and her yummy sausage and ricotta stuffed peppers.  To die for.  Took a little time, but worth it.

Hope you are all doing well and looking forward to the ends of your weeks!!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Still here....

It's been a few days.  Things are good.  I was exhausted last night - not sure if that is surgery related or not...but it might have to do with not sleeping wonderfully.  I just am having a hard time getting comfy.  I'm a side sleeper and while I sleep normally on my right side (and the left side is where the work was done), I think that my hips still make my middle squeeze a little on the left side.  It's just not comfy yet.  But getting there!

And the ITCHING!!  Dear God, the itching!  I catch myself scratching my belly like some old man...kinda funny.


Next part might be TMI.

Here's my other complaint.  I started my period the day after surgery.  Seriously, like I needed that.  Gas pains and bleeding.  good times.'s still hanging in there.  Not as strong - and it was strong - but kinda coming and going for the last few days.  I have PCOS - I've never had regular periods, even in my younger thinner days.  I once went 6 months without.  Most of the time they come and go in 5 days max and never horribly heavy.  This one was bad.  Auntie Flo, you are now uninvited for a while, please.

I know it's probably hormones, but...again, come on now, cut this girl a break!

What else.  I'm hungry.  Going for post-op tomorrow.  I want to confess to you all that on Sunday I had the cheese, ham and pineapple from a pizza.  My DH wanted pizza, so I got him a little personal size one at the store and felt bad for myself - I mean, how can I sit and watch (and smell!!) pizza while he eats it and me sit and drink soup/protein shakes/something equally uninteresting.  So, I bought a pizza for me, knowing I'd just eat the toppings, no crust.

There is now more than 1/2 of a pizza untouched sitting in the garbage can.  I couldn't control myself.  One little taste of the cheese, then a little more.  then the rest of the 1/4 pizza I gave myself to eat the toppings of.  Then back in the kitchen for another taste.  And I had to throw it out.

The band fixes your stomach, eventually, but not your head!  Say it with me.  Just don't tempt yourself until it's time.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow.  Please doc, tell me it's time for something more!

At work we are starting a walking competition tomorrow.  I'm 1/2 in charge of it locally.  We all have pedometers that download onto our computers to let us know how many steps we've taken.  We're competing against the other US sites.  Looking forward to it.  I barely walk at work - I've been averaging about 3000 steps, which is just over a mile.  I need to add some steps!!  So, this should be some good motivation for some exercise!!

Alright, enough rambling for now.  Sounds like people had great times in Chicago.  I love Chicago - I lived there for 3 years.  I am sure the experience was indescribable though.  I look forward to joining everyone next year, wherever everyone ends up!!

Until later!!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Party follow-up

Good morning everyone!

I know you've been waiting all night to hear how it  I had a hard time.  You see, the bread they bring out with the cinnamon butter....yeah.

I had 3/4 of a roll (they are making them smaller than they used to, I noticed) with some cinnamon butter on it.  I chewed and sucked on it, so it seemed to go down ok.

And I had applesauce and mashed potatoes.  Oh gosh did this taste good to me.

And a bite of cake.

Not horrible for all of the temptation, really!!  I'm pretty ok with it.  I know that in the end completely restricting myself from any one food will be hard and counterproductive.

I was full all night from eating that at 4!

DH and I then went to the newer outlet mall they built in the area we were in.  We walked and did a little shopping.  It was beautiful outside, so it was just a nice way to spend an evening.

I'm loving that it's Sunday and beautiful outside again.  I'm hoping to go for a long walk later.

Talk to you soon!!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

The Birthday Party

Today is our niece's birthday party - at Texas Roadhouse.  I have hemmed and hawed and vacillated about going.  She needs our support.  She doesn't have the greatest support at home.  DH's sister is a single mom and struggles financially.  Niece's father is supportive financially, but lives far away.  And she is a good, smart girl.  So...I feel like it's important to be there.  Of all of the members of his family, hers is the top birthday I don't want to miss.

However, as I mentioned earlier, it's at Texas Roadhouse.  Steak is in my top fav foods.  And I am starting to hit the hungry portion of the liquids phase.  I have a plan, though.  We are going about an hour away.  I am going to make a protein shake right before we leave to drink on the way up there.  Once there, I will order either mashed potatoes or applesauce and just be content.  I can do this.  It's only one meal.  And I agree with you all - who cares what the family thinks or talks about.  Truth be told, they will find something to talk about regarding me, my DH, whomever, no matter what.

Let's talk about this hungry phase.  Phew, did it hit me out of the blue yesterday.  I was leaving work at 5 and starving.  I knew I needed to come home and make something a little more substantial.  So I stopped at the store to buy the stuff for some black bean soup.  I'm doing ok with soups - but realized black bean would have a ton more protein that the other soups I've been eating.

The grocery store is a whole new experience!!!

I walked in and had to remind myself I couldn't eat any of the stuff that I am used to looking at.  Even the fruits and veggies, I kept moving.  I'm so used to going in and finding some "treat" to buy, but this time realized that there was no point.  Kinda empowering, kinda odd.

The soup took a long time to make, but was worth it.  Very satisfying.  Hopefully it will get me through the next 5 days to my post-op visit, where (again, hopefully) they might tell me to start adding in foods beyond liquids.

It's finally fall here - cool morning and only up to 74 today!!  Weeee!  I love this time of year!!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Awww. I feel loved.

Thank you everyone for the comments yesterday.  And the new followers.  I love this.  I'm, again, so glad to have a group of people around who get it and understand it.

I did go back to work today, but it wasn't horrible.  And I went in late.  And left early.  Tomorrow I am scheduled to be on an online training all day.  We'll see if that happens.  :)

I also have my first weight watchers meeting since banding - we'll see how that goes too.  My scale here has been hovering around 265....pretty nice trade off for the liquids phase.

Tonight, though, my sister hosted one of those home parties - and this was WildTree who is kinda like tastefully$imple, but more whole foods oriented.  I did a lot of licking of sauces.  I don't feel great now though.  Ehhh...we'll see, again.

I'm heading to bed.  Again - thank you all!  I am feeling so blessed to have good people around.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Perhaps it is time...

I am sitting here at 5th day post op.  I have the incredibly wonderful ability to be able to stay home with no questions for 5 work days.  This is the 4th work day off.

I think I need to go back.

I'm getting  a little lazy around the house.  I called the cable company crabby because for about 45 minutes the channels were pixelating - you know, the little squares that look like something is wrong.  I went for a walk.  I am doing the dishes as they get dirty. 

I even went for a walk.

So, yes, I think I should attempt to go back tomorrow.  Even if it is just for part of the day.

The thing that has held me back is that I just don't feel 100%.  I have queasy moments - or am I hungry?  I haven't figured out the difference yet.  I am mostly dependent on time - has it been 3-4 hours since I started eating something?  And ***TMI*** I have had diarrhea once last night and once this morning.  The kind where you think it's going to be gas, but surprise, you need to get your butt to the bathroom?  yeah - that kind.

Good times.

I have to believe that that is partly because I am only doing liquids.  Protein shakes, soup, pudding, yogurt.  Rinse and repeat.  Thank goodness I didn't have to do liquids ahead of time - that would have put me over the edge.  I just keep having to fight head hunger.  I want cheese or meat.  Real meat.

The first thing I am having to learn to repeat to myself - I will have (insert craving here) soon.  Soon I can have it.  I have the rest of my life to have whatever it is.  But for now, I need to heal, to be healthy, to do as I am asked.  I won't die.  People don't die after this surgery from starving.  However, the smells, the sights - they make me question my strength.  Can I really do this for 2 weeks?

Saturday, we are supposed to go to Texas Roadhouse for my DH's niece's 18th birthday.  We don't want to miss it.  We need to be there to support her - she needs all the positive support we can give.  However - really?  Texas Roadhouse?  With the steak?  With the fried stuff?  Where I can eat a yummy side of applesauce or mashed potatoes - neither of which are on my list of approved foods, but appear to be the safest route.  *sigh*  Clearly, I just need to suck it up.  Again - I won't die.  And I have the rest of my life to eat steak, maybe.  :)

My other challenge - I didn't want my in-laws to know about the surgery at all.  I just don't need the judging and the conversations.  I don't trust most of them and I know they all love their gossip.  I would just rather not be their topic of conversation.  But, DH told his mom.  And his mom doesn't always remember to keep things quiet.  So....I am guessing everyone there will know that I am eating barely anything because I have had this surgery.  Lovely. 

So, see - I need to go back to work.  Only my boss and my coworker know there, so I can just be.  And I have plenty of do, so I won't have to think about much.

Oh, and my new engagement ring arrived today.  I like it - so pretty.  It's bigger than the old one and radiant cut instead of princess - so it feels odd to see it.  But I like it and am so happy to have it back on my hand.

Oh, and (I keep thinking of things) did anyone watch Mike and Molly last night?  Not sure how to feel about it.  Loved the open conversation about how NOT EASY it is to be heavy.  I didn't love the little digs and jokes - but they were made from family and close friends, so does that make it easier or better or more acceptable?  I'm not sure.  I will give it a few more episodes...we'll see.  What did you all think?

Until later!

Monday, September 20, 2010

2 recipes

I'm starting to feel a little more normal.  I'm home from work today - trying to figure out if I will try gooing back for part of the day at least tomorrow.  To be determined.

But, I am trying today to get in some decent protein and water.  I found 2 great recipes that I wanted to share for these full liquid days.

Chicken Enchilada Soup
1 can reduced fat cream of chicken soup
1 can cheddar cheese soup
1/2 can mild enchilada sauce
1 can skim milk

mix into a pot and warm slowly.

This is tasty - use more or less enchilada sauce as you can handle it.  1/2 can is a little kicky, but I like a little kick and it's nice to have some flavor.  It's not horribly high in protein, I think I figured about 5g for 6 oz, but it is a good tasting alternative when those around you are eating real, savory food.  I found this recipe in several different places - blogs and message boards - I can't remember where exactly to credit them.

I also made the Peanut Butter Cup Protein Shake found on  If you haven't been to her site, you should.  Tons of protein shake recipes and other good high protein recipes.  She had RNY, but so much of her stuff is great as a resource for those of us who are banded.  Anyway, the Peanut Butter Cup shake might just save me.  It tasted like a real shake and I was able to drink it all.  I did use the Peanut Butter Flour, which I think is going to be a wonderful addition to the pantry as well!  16g of protein for 1/4 cup.  She has another on her website that is PB&J Protein Shake - I think I'm trying that one out tomorrow! 

How is everyone else doing?  Any other tips, tricks, things you discovered during your postop full liquids phase that might help us all get through it?

Until later!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

2 days after

Hi all!

I'm sitting here, sipping soup, and resting.  The horrid gas pains from my first day subsided by the next morning, thank goodness.  That was bad!!  Now, I'm just trying to keep doing some deep breathing and relaxing.  I went for a quick walk outside last night.  Then had to get up and go next door at 10:30 to tell our neighbors to bring in the kids - they were so loud.  Really?  10:30pm and your kids are outside playing - and you don't think there is something wrong with that?  If they were just hanging out, I could care less - but they were running and screaming and I just wanted to sleep.  When I came back in, I was pretty worked up and out of breath...I shouldn't have gone over there.  But, I just am at wits end with these people.

Only other kinda scary moment is that Thursday night I had bled through my gauze pads pretty heavily where the port site is.  We called the Dr and he said, no problem just put pressure on it.  Well, it bled through again overnight and he said, really - more pressure.  And I did and it stopped.  So...slowly but surely I am pulling things back together.

I'm not hungry.  I'm forcing myself to eat some today.  Yesterday I think I had 6oz total...I just couldn't do it.  I'm still not hungry.  It's odd - I have weird feelings in my belly - once upon a time I would have surely fed them, as the only real explanation of odd tummy feelings is hunger (haha) but now I'm convinced it's my body settling and adjusting...and gas and what not.  DH made food this morning that smelled great, but I didn't crave it.  That was a nice feeling.

My parents just came back from a 2.5 week vacation - they were able to go to Italy and take a Mediterranean cruise.  So excited for them - and now to see them.  I scheduled this surgery kinda forgetting they'd still be gone.  My mom is a nurse - and I missed her more than I thought I would with the surgery stuff.

I'm going to post my pre-op photos a little later.  I didn't get weighed at the hospital, that I know of.  So, that night I weighed myself and my scale showed 279.1.  Now that is up from where I thought I'd be.  But, it was also after surgery - so I will blame that on gas and such and move forward.  My official weigh in days will be Thursday.  But - I took a sneaky peek this morning and saw 271.1.  weee!

more later!!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Quick hello!

Things went well today - I'm banded!!!

I'm home and resting.  Sipping water.

The gas pains are horrible.  I'm trying to walk around.  I'm using GasX dissolvables.  But it is horrible pain.

Any other suggestions for it??

Thousand Word Thursday

As you all read this, I am hopefully in recovery.

But I wanted to post on Amy's post this favorite piece of jewlery.

This isn't creative...but it is by far my engagement ring.

I lost it.  I have no idea where it is.  I put it in a box on the dresser so DH could take it to be dipped.  And it's gone.  I have no idea.  Maybe I put it somewhere else, maybe I accidentally threw the box away.  Who knows.  It makes me sad.  We've called the insurance company.

As I sit in recovery or wherever, DH will be meeting with the jewler in the lobby of the hospital picking out a new ring for me.

It's a brand new day.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Twas the night before banding....

...and all through the house...

is anxiousness and excitement and planning and all sorts of things.  We just hit the drug store to make sure they have Roxicet for DH to pick up tomorrow.  We went to a nice dinner at one of my favorite dinners.  I ate too much.  But it was so good.  I brought home tons of my leftovers.  My sister will get them tomorrow when she comes over to babysit me while DH goes to his night class.

And work is complete.  That was really the hardest part.  I have no idea if I'll be back on Monday or Wed or 2 Mondays from now or when.  So I had to do a little planning to make sure that things could wait until I get back.  I brought home my computer so that I can do some things from bed or the couch if need be.  But, it was a long day, for sure.

So, now I wait.  I hope I sleep well.  I hope it all goes quickly.  I am so ready to get to the other side.  I can't believe it is happening!!  I have to be there at 5:30am...ick.  I'm off to relax some with DH.

I'll catch you all on the other side!!  And btw - thank you to my 9 followers!!  Weeee!  It's really the best part of this - having a community of people to go through this with.  Thank you.  I hope to one day have even more!!!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Good Weekend and Last Dinner mentality

I love this time of year.  Here in the Cincinnati area, nights gets cooler, days are warm and sunny - but lack the horrid humidity of the summer.  We sleep with windows wide open and pull the blanket a little tighter in the morning.

We had my girlfriends and their significant others for dinner last night.  We had decided to try and have dinner every other month, taking turns to host and giving us an opportunity to use good china and things that you get for your wedding, but seem to rarely get to use.  It's been fun.  But the best part is that we were able to eat on our patio last night.  Perfect!

This also helped me to complete the nest phase of this surgery, the one I discussed here.  I was able to finish cleaning most of the major areas, leaving the office for while I am off.'s only 4 more days until surgery!  I can't believe it's almost here.  I am ready to move past it and onto life after the band.  I just got back from the store to get milk and a few things for DH, so he can survive at least the first few days of post-op without me having to go to the store.

Of course, while I was there I picked up pretzels and dip.  You know, because I'll never be able to eat those again.  BAER.  And pop.  There was a new flavor - I had to try it.  Oh dear band, please help me to control some urges - and if I buy such stuff, keep me from eating more than a taste.

I'm trying to figure out if I want to go out for dinner Tues or Wed night.  I feel like I want to - but don't all the same.  Again with the last supper routine....

struggle struggle struggle.

Friday, September 10, 2010

weeee! I have followers!!

Hi!!  I am so excited that a few of you decided to follow me!  I feel the love.  I enjoy reading everyone's blogs so much.  I hope along the way I can be love and support and fun and understanding and companionship for others, as they have been for me!!

Enough sappy stuff!

Work this week has been horrendous.  I work in HR.  I'm a people person.  This week, not liking the people so much.  We fired our temp agency today - and the contractor we just hired to supposedly make my life easier by doing some recruiting.  We've had employees lie to us and go behind our backs.  Nothing horribly serious - but enough to have our faith in people waiver.  It's odd.  People just aren't happy.  I'm not sure how we best go about making them happy.

I got the insurance thing figured out.  THANK GOODNESS!  That was a huge stresser.  Sounds like - as usual - I got wrong info from the insurance cust service person.  So - we are back to straight up, outpatient copay.  Phew.

I'm not doing well with eating.  I weighed in at WW yesterday, up almost 2 pounds from where the dietitian had me on Tuesday.  Ehhh...I gave myself a free day on Wed.  You'll have that.  We are having my dearest friends over for dinner tomorrow night.  We're grilling chicken and having grilled fruit and pound cake for dessert.  I plan on small pound cake, lots of fruit.  Plus my friends are bringing some healthy sides.  It should be a good night.  Only bummer - it hasn't rained here in literally 2 months - feels like years.  Tomorrow night - high chance of rain.  boo.  I wanted to eat outside.  Oh well....

Do you all like to entertain?

Enough of my ramblings for now.  Hope you are all having fab Fridays and weekends!!

Until later....

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Protein Freebie Sample

I just ordered this sample.  Free protein can't be bad.  15g per serving.  Not super high....good for when you need something quick.  I wonder how it tastes?

Click here to sign up for the freebie.

Click here to see the nutritional details

So Frustrated.

So, next week at this time I'll be recovering.  Next week at this time I'll be banded.  One week away.  Next Thursday morning.

How is it that I just today - one week before - found out that the copay isn't $100, but it's $500.


Seems that our company has us billed as an inpatient, despite it being outpatient.

And I just found out. the way...I'm the HR person.


I know this is still small money compared to those who are paying out of pocket for the whole thing.  But, with one week to go, I suddenly need to figure out where I'm going to get an extra $400.

grrr grrr grrr.

Thousand Word Thursday

Amy had a great idea that I think started last week.  I'm joining in this week!

We are supposed to post a meaningful decoration in our home.  I chose 2, that share the same space.

On the right is a framed copy of our wedding invitation.  A very talented friend of mine designed them, and then framed one for our gift.  We used pink gerber daisies as a theme - and she made one to decorate the decorative hanger on the frame.  Love.

On the left is the one picture I have from our wedding that I felt was worth displaying.  I haven't done much with our pictures.  We were married almost 2 years ago.  Part of it is that I don't LOVE our pictures....we used a family friend and she was just ok.  The other part - I hate how we look in them.  Since having his band, my husband looks great now.  I am still heavy.  For now, only.  So, I chose the picture with just our hands.

It's also meaningful as just about a month ago, I lost my engagement ring.  I am still pissed at myself.  But this picture shows that ring and the 2 bands that go on either side.

I love our wedding stuff.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Last pre-op nutritionist meeting

Yesterday I went for my last meeting with the nutritionist before the big day.  Basically, it was to tell me about my post-op diet.

Classic 2 week liquids.  Nothing new to see here.

BUT - I had lost 7 pounds since my last nutritionist meeting which was like 3 weeks ago.

I was really excited!!

See, I haven't been great at keeping up with my diet and following what they had to say.  I haven't since I started this all in like April.  But, I have been having more protein drinks for meals...and yogurt and veggies.  So, healthier all together.

I am also starting Weight W@tchers at work tomorrow.  We have about 20 people doing it.  I have done WW before, been successful even.  But, I think we know how this story ends...girl loses weight, girl gains weight back.

My goal here, as discussed here, is to have a plan - something to follow, and people to hold me accountable. Plus, my company reimburses the amount paid, if we attend 10 of 12 meetings of a, I have little to lose.  Ummmm...lots to lose, no risk.  :)

I just can't believe that next week at this time I'll be taking some pre-op pics and getting ready for my last sleep unbanded!!  Weeeee!!!

My new home.

I thought I'd be all cool and start my blog in wordpress.  Yeah.  I don't like it so much.

In case you want to see what came before....

So here I am!!  Welcome to the blogger version of Once Upon A Band!