I've been missing for almost 2 weeks from here. I have been struggling.
I got my fill on the 29th of Dec. I felt a little restriction, but not tons.
I've been eating whatever I want since then.
I suspect there are people out there who would say that this is about eating, not depriving...you should be able to eat whatever if you want it - IN MODERATION. Well, I've been eating less than once upon a time, but still more than I should and very rarely the stuff that is good for me.
I am struggling.
I want to do this. I want to make good choices. I am still in my old head and habits and those haven't changed. Which explains my lack of weight loss over these almost 4 months.
I feel a little lost. Maybe not lost.... I'm perhaps lacking confidence.... Maybe it's motivation. Although, I WANT to do well. When faced with choices, I choose the old way, the stuff that isn't good and the amounts that are more than necessary.
I thought I'd try the 5 day pouch test. Yeah. By 5pm I was so ravenous that I ate every snack food I had randomly in my office. So much for all liquids that day. And I had done well - a really well protein packed shake for breakfast, protein heavy soup for lunch, a protein drink for a snack....50-60 grams of protein by that point.
Of course we all know what goes with all of this...the feeling of failure. I never have done it before, so of course I can't do it now. I'll be the only bandster in the blog world who fails at this. I can't do anything right. Blah blah blah. Of course, deep down, I don't believe this. However, the negative track runs through my head every so often and certainly doesn't help.
I needed to just get this all out there. I am open to suggestions. I keep thinking that tomorrow I will wake up and start again. But...it hasn't happened that way yet. I keep thinking and debating and reading and looking for some answers. I have faith.
But I'm struggling.
